The sum of all my synns

You spin me ight round baby right round...

2008-05-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

...like a record baby right round round round.

As the Manson song goes, I too was a fan of spinning. When it comes to memory devices, that is. I've always been a proponent of Hard disks vis-a-vis solid state. The advantages are obvious. Larger capacity at a cheaper cost. And that is why I purchased a Creative Zen when there were flashier, cooler devices around (Not the evilPod though. I refuse to be a pawn in unca Stevie's plan of world domination. Plus, it looks gay and stuff). 6 gigs for the price of 2(solid state). I loved the chubby little white thing. The sound quality was excellent, the battery life was acceptable, and most importantly, it held music for all 84653832 of my moods. Power Metal, Thrash, Glam(Yay~!), Punk, Classic rock, you name it, it was in there. I couldn't be happier.

...until it fucking broke.

One fine day, for no apparent reason, the player froze like a Brooklyn hoodlum held it at gunpoint. Upon restart, things looked fine. Until it happened again. And again. And.. you get the drift, right? Then it refused to boot. A re-install of the Firmware fixed the problem for a while, but soon, things were back in thissucksacocksville. All this took a heavy toll on the hard disk which sported bad sectors like Britney Spears' midsection has stretch marks. And that's when I decided that I had enough.

I almost bought an iRiver 8Gig.

Which was when i remembered, "WTF am I doing? My phone is a fucking SE Walkman"! Why should I spend three hundred green 'uns on a new MP3 player when my phone can do one better at one third the cost?

So it was decided. A memory upgrade for the phone was due. But first, a bit of research. You see, even at 6 gigs, the Zen didn't hold all that I wanted. Clearly, something higher was desirable. But here was the problem. The W580 was "Officially" only good for upto 2Gig and (in SE speak) Tested with a 4Gig, but no recommendations. No good.

Some forum-trolling later, I learned that some people actually did succeed in gropping an 8gig into the W580, but the success rate was not a hundred percent. So it's gonna be a gamble, then. No matter, I'm always up for a challenge.

Was lucky enough to find a shop selling 8gig M2s for 90 bucks. I was expecting to pay 20-30% more. I'll drop a spoiler in here and say that the experiment was eventually successful. But here's how shit went down:

First up, forget about using the M2's bundled MS Pro adapter for data transfer. The phone simply refuses to accept files transferred this way. Instead, drop the card into the phone and let the phone format it. After that, use the slow as fuck USB to transfer files. You'll use the "File transfer" mode if you know what's good for you. Of course, you can be a smartass and use the "phone mode", but be prepared to confirm every single file transfer. Here's me wishing your thumb good luck.

Anyhoo, be prepared to see an incorrect free space displayed in the phone status. The firmware is incapable of accurately displaying free spaces of cards greater than 4Gig in capacity. A minor irritant, as the files are read without any problems whatsoever.

The biggest question however, is whether the processor can handle this exponential increase in memory size. The answer, thank god, is yes. If there is any lag, It's only when I do alphabetical searches within the walkman. Understandable, since the phone has to cycle through close to two thousand tracks.

Lastly, don't forget to switch off the "Stereo widening" option in the phone. It utterly rapes the mid range and makes the bass boomy. Useful only with (c)rap music.

So that's the lowdown on how to use convergence to a music lover's advantage. Rock on and ride safe.

A brand new start.

2008-05-17T09:19:00.001-07:00

Yes, entire civilizations could have risen, flourished and turned back to dust in the time gap between this post and the last one. In fact, so out of touch with writing am I, that I do not know what to type here anymore~!

Let's just say that after a quarter of a century of existence on this planet, I can finally say that I am somebody. The academia is done with (in the best way possible), the career has been kickstarted into high gear and with god's grace, the wheels are arriving soon.

To the half a dozen people who check in now and then to see if there are any updates, a thousand apologies. It feels great to go through a rebirth, and here's me promising regular posts shortly.

Rock on and ride safe.

A little message for my beloved anonymous fans:

2008-01-22T23:35:00.000-08:00

(image courtesy: Blueline comics)

As for the more mainstream folk who are not into getting high on "over the net" mudslinging, more detailed, conventional posts coming up soon. And mucho apologies for the long break from posting.

Returning to "The sum of all my synns": Music talk.

2007-11-12T02:38:00.000-08:00

Holla amigos...

Been a long time... Been a long time... Been a long, lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time....

...Since we talked music. Right?

Well, screw that, coz music is back, and is here to stay! For starters, here's a little somethin' 'bout the Synner's favorite genre, Hair Metal:

While surfin' around in ye olde interweb, the Synner came across this li'l discussion titled "What will have the most impact on rock history: 80's metal/ grunge or emo"?

...and here's what he said:

I am in my mid 20's, and by popular conception, i am supposed to be one of those kids who'd say, "Kobain felt the pain, man~!". But I don't. I say, 80's metal laid the foundation for a lot of music from there on.

I know I am gonna get a lot of flak for this, but those who had the ability to play the guitar made 80's metal what it is, and those who didn't, covered it up with two and one finger chords, cranked up the distortion, made up senseless lyrics that bordered on the "why me?" question, smashed guitars on stage to generate aggression and so forth.

As a person who is learning something new from his guitar every day, I certainly appreciate the marvels that Iron Maiden, Van Halen, Metallica and a great many other bands of that generation did. If I practice everyday, and darn hard at that, one day i will be half as good as them.

Nirvana? I learned "Teen spirit" in 2 hours.

So, as a MUSICIAN, 80's metal most definitely influences me. And anyone who is half serious about mastering an electric guitar would rather practice the "Sweet child of mine" intro rather than the repetitive intro chords from **insert Nirvana song here**

Now, we come to song writing. 80's bands told a story through a song. Be it "Runaway", "hallowed be thy name" or "estranged", each song had a story unraveling through the course of it. And the solo acted as the turning point in the story more often than not. What story does "Teen spirit" tell again? Analyze the lyrics of this popular "Teen anthem" and one'd see that it's pretty much nonsense. Kobain himself has stated that he was embarrassed to play this song a few years after "Nevermind".

Vocal ability. Apart from Eddie Vedder, I am yet to find a Grunge era singer who can hold a candle to the likes of Sebastian Bach, Jon Bon Jovi, Axl Rose, etc in the area of conveying emotions thru his voice alone. One may point out "Unplugged in New York", but compare that to the pioneers of unplugged, Bon Jovi, and there literally is no contest. And about Hair Metal acts being one trick ponies, just listen to "This left feels right". Any band that can rework all those Anthems and Ballads in this fashion sure has something musically right in them.

Continuing with Bon Jovi, I read someone mention that they are not really "Metal acts". First up, the distinction between Hard rock and Metal is a blurry one, and bands can dilly dally between the two. "In and out of love" is a very metal sounding track, while "Bed of roses" is a classic rock ballad. To me, Bon Jovi was metal, albeit, Pop Metal. And pop, by it's very definition doesn't mean "Cindy Lauper", it means "POPular". I.E. Whatever is getting mainstream attention is pop music. Journey was pop. Bon Jovi was pop(and is pop, as demonstrated by "Lost Highway"). Nirvana, like it or not, was pop. Green Day is pop. And yeah. Britney spears is(was?) pop too. The antonym of pop would be "underground", and a great many of the bands discussed here have made the transition between the two.

Yes, grunge is still being discussed and played. Why? Coz of one solitary reason. Kobain, by the single hearted act of ordering a Bullet Breakfast, made sure that his band and his genre of music will be in the discussion list for eternity. Give me one good reason why Nirvana wouldn't be dissed in the same fashion as G'nR, had Kobain lived a full life, made more music, replaced bandmates, and rehabbed from time to time.

Do I like Grunge? Well yes i do. I listen to it from time to time, and really do like songs such as "Jeremy", "Black", "Better Man", "All apologies", "Penny Royal Tea" etc. But when it's time to brush up my act, i load up guitar pro, and open a Cinderella/Bon Jovi/Van Halen tab.

Oh, and emo? What's that? A communicable disease?

Rock on and ride safe...

The Indian motorcyclist talks about model replacement.

2007-11-12T02:25:00.000-08:00

Company one: "We are gonna replace model X with an "ALL NEW" platform in the next so and so months".

Indian motorcyclist: "Ah, as usual, they are replacing models at lightning speed. every single model from them is a flop! what will happen to the resale value?... ...
[ blah-blah-blah-raised-to-a-seven-digit-integer]

Company two: "Here's is our model Y, in "ALL NEW" colors for model year 2008. The same tried and trusted engine, in "Smashing new" cloths".

Indian motorcyclist: "Oh, will this model ever go away? It has been here since the dawn of time and will be here when nuclear holocaust strikes and only cockroaches remain... ...
[ blah-blah-blah-raised-to-a-seven-digit-integer]

Synner: Goddamnit, pick a side already. If you want the market to mature, get used to biannual replacement of models. If you want to buy something that is not an "experiment", get used to restickering.

...and for fuck's sakes, stop talking about the selling price of a bike before you even buy it. What you need is an office in Dalal street. Not a motorcycle.

Rock on and ride safe.

A rebuttal.

2007-10-25T04:28:00.000-07:00

Ya know...The Synner doesn't usually follow every backlink to ye olde blog that's reported by his stat keeping thingy. But today, one particular link caught his attention. And that was because his good friend, Hitanshu commented there.

It was a post by someone at one of India's more popular Biking message groups, Bike nomads.

It started out simple enough, with somebody posting a thread about The Indian motorcyclist. And then the shit hits the ceiling.

Somebody named Navendu Singh, quite the scholar, I believe, decides to put words in The Synner's mouth. The guy is simply APPALLED that someone obviously has the time to rant away, but not post a single trip log. Now since The Synner is not a member of the above message group, he decided to post the reply in these parts:

First up sir, good morning, rise 'n shine, here's ye'r coffee. Newsflash! Not all bloggers are trip loggers. In fact, three of India's top accessed motorcycle blogs, Rearset's shack, Payeng's little Joint and Sameer's place have.. er.. em... lemme see... ZERO trip logs by the authors! Whoa! Is it time to call up a witch hunt, sir? I guess so... Stakes, people, we need WOODEN STAKES~!

Different people have different tastes when it comes to blogging. It is not upto you or anyone else to demand what they should blog about and what they shouldn't. Period.

Now comes a more serious accusation. The guy apparently assumes that The Synner has done zero miles on a motorcycle. Again, sunshine, would you like some bagels with that coffee?

The Synner is where he is now, after BLEEDING hard earned money through his nose to pay for the expenses of his education. From his OWN pocket. He is sorry that he couldn't save up a few thousand dollars more, buy a brand new FZ6 and do weekly trips to sepang and back. Hell, if you are seriously concerned, please do forward the monies. The synner guarantees 3 trip logs a month. Capisce?

Lastly, Here's some tissue to wipe your mouth. Yes sir'ee bob, The Synner does indeed know his way around a motorcycle. Amongst the crazy things he has done in the past, there are stuff like riding 160 KMs or so in the torrid Kerala monsoons without a rain jacket and with my faithful steed, that sports a glo-friend for a headlamp (The bike, again bought with his OWN earnings, was sold too BTW, to meet the expenses of his education). And bleeding from the face for one whole night after an accident, coz medical care was not in the vicinity. Ya know why he doesn't talk about those?

Coz a gazillion other blogs do the same shit.

This blog here sir, I am proud ta say, offers something you won't find anywhere else on the Interweb thingy. And that's a witty, unique take on a NUMBER OF THINGS, one being motorcycling. Apparently, it works; so the feedback says. If you don't like it, you are free to use the address bar of ye'r browser and roam away.

Just don't put words into my mouth.

Project 303: Unveiled.

2007-10-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

There ya go.

Edit: 50th post. Yippee..!!!!

Project 303: #4.

2007-09-30T01:52:00.000-07:00

Project 303: #3.

2007-09-27T17:10:00.001-07:00

Project 303: #2.

2007-09-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

It's getting closer....

Watch this space.

Easter eggs.

2007-09-26T03:07:00.000-07:00

Ya know, Sometimes, the Synner feels that he's the Friggin' Oracle or somethin'...

A while back, he made a post on small capacity sportbikes makin' a comeback (albeit, 400CC) and bada bing! Yamaha launches the R125 soon after... He'd be extremely surprised if at least one more bike isn't unveiled between the R125 and the R6.

That being said, the R125 and its (possible) brethren are still quite a while away from reaching the Indian shores. But fret not. My faithful Synnors and synnoras are in for quite the treat.

Scroll down and check out the post he made about the possibilities of selling older International models in India at a price that makes sense. Well, let's face it. Bikes these days are updated so fast, we are forced to accept a model as "outdated", even if it is not. Case in point? The last gen R6, now called the R6 S. By no means is this an outdated model. It just looks.. old. When compared to the NEW R6.

But, I digress... The point is, companies can indeed do a bit of musical chairs and come up with bikes that aren't necessarily of 80's vintage. And, it seems like at least on company is thinkin' on similar lines.

Ladies n germs, I present to thee, what could be the biggest easter egg in the realm of Indian motorcycling. Be warned though that this is merely speculation on the Synner's part. Mebbe he has read the DaVinci Code one time too many... But just the same, also note that he has this habit of being right more often than not (Yeah, he can be a pompous jackass at times), so please bear with him for a few more mins...

A couple of days back, Rearset reported on the launch ceremony of the new scooter thingy from Suzuki India. As expected, Suzie made the ceremony as glitzy and glamorous as it can get, with plenty of references to the might of the company worldwide.

...But something caught his eye. Wait, something didn't fit.

Pardon the crappy editing, but peeps, that is one bike that appeared in the video one too many times. And guess what? the bike seen in the pic can be placed nowhere in the international portfolio of Suzuki. The closest thing that the Synner found was the GS500F, which is still sufficiently different from the subject of this little convo.

After making ample use of the pause/play button, the Synner noticed several interesting details:

The rear tyre width suggests a cubic capacity not more than 250.
The crankcase design suggests a single pot (unlikely) or an inline.
The width of the bike suggests not more than two cyls.
The styling is slightly dated, but still appealing in a late 90's CBR 600Fi way.
There is no sign of a twin spar frame, so this could very well be a tubular perimeter (think Bandit).
All the proper sporty bits are in place, with a modern day Suzuki nose up front.

Long story short, this kids, could very well be suzuki's proposed 250CC bike for India, quite possibly to be unveiled at Auto Expo '08. And just to show that this is not all smoke 'n mirrors, the Synner quotes Mr. Atul Gupta, VP sales & Marketing, Suzuki India:

“Being a late entrant in the Indian market, we have to bring excitement into the market after the initial consolidation is complete. In the next year-and-a-half, capacity, products and systems will be put in place. Thereafter, we will launch two variants of 250cc motorcycle - an aerodynamic/sporty version and a naked/muscular one.”The entire article can be read HERE.

Now THIS, makes sense. The company obviously needs to make a statement, but cannot develop a grounds up model because of cost issues. A single pot would be sticking to the same old, while an inline 4 would prove to be too expensive. A bit of mix 'n match later, we have just about the best solution to the problem, while still adhering to the constraints posed. Keeping in mind the rough time frame mentioned above, this bike could very well do a P220; i.e. being unveiled at the expo, and ending up in the showrooms in 2010.

One thing is for sure. If this thing makes anything north of 25PS, Karizma who and Ditsify Wha?

The bike has the potential to be the star of Auto Expo '08. That is, unless, Yamaha India does one better. Looks like Jan 2008 will tell whether the Synner's DaVinci code reading sessions did him any good.. :-D

Oh, and lastly, Kudos to the guy who made the montage. The sepia makes sure that too much ain't revealed and the action is fast enough to keep the message cryptic. Good job.

Rock on and Ride safe.

P.S. The curious minded can download the entire video from HERE. (Thanks, Keerthi. Thanks Rearset for the original clip.)

Project 303.

2007-09-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

The countdown begins....

Stay tuned.

The power of pipe-dreams.

2007-09-22T03:52:00.000-07:00

Pardon the synner for this extremely graphic intro, but he needs to get a doubt cleared before he starts yet another rant-o-rama.

Why on god's earth are there "Flavored condoms", when the flip side of the pack says "For vaginal use only"? Yeah. You do the math. Or anatomy. Or whatever.

...anyhoo, time for another round of speculations. The Grand Poobah of motorshows in the Indian realm, the Auto Expo, is closing in as we speak, and the Interweb is abuzz with rumors of impending launches. Talks of sleeping giants waking up, of already awaken giants hitting the bench press and what not are spreading like wildfire in the blogosphere and such.

For starters, Suzuki India, who gave us "awesome beasts" such as the Zeus ('d rather watch paint dry) and the Heat (rather, the lack of it) are expected to bring in a 150 odd CC machine that wouldn't seem out of place on International roads. Speculated specifications such as faired-in styling and a six speed gearbox leads the Synner to believe that this could be a reworked FXR 150.

Makes perfect business sense, as the FXR was discontinued in markets such as Malaysia a while ago, and the dies must be playing a game of hide and seek, with nobody "seeking" them per se. Hey, it's not like Suzuki's pulling a Qualis on us, is it? The machine still looks sporty 'nuff, and is supposed to make 20 PS. None too bad, in my books.

But of course, The Indian Motorcyclist returns, with phrases like "oh! only 150 CC"? You sir, can introduce your oral cavity to a flavored condom. Thank you.

Which brings us to the market leader. Seems that for once, they have decided to bring along a motorcycle that was "Born in an R&D facility, not a sticker factory". Yes boys n girls, whispers abound of a CeeBeR 150 based sporty bike from HH. Specifications are not available at the Mo', but what the synner hears makes him want to wait for this motorcycle.

However, Gurgaon could just pull a Houdini on us and the bike could turn out to be a reskinned Karizma. In that case, this would be yet another chapter in the famed literary work, "Indian motorcycle Industry and the game of one-up". Oh well, we always have Honda.....

Ah yes, Honda. Annnytime now.. Yeah... soon... Definitely...

Honda. Now this is a company that is sitting on a potential goldmine and not realizing its worth. Doods, You have this thing called a CB 400. I gather that it has been discontinued in most markets and as in the case of the Suzie FXR, the dies are gathering dust at an alarming rate. Let the synner give you a 4 step program to make merry of the junk:

- Salvage the dies from the junk yard.

- Slap on an FI system to meet the emission norms (we can digest a power drop of even 10%. That's how desperate we are).

- Add some LED thingamagigies fore and aft.

- ..and sell for a price that makes sense to both sides.

Et Voila, we have a winner! It's gonna be a while before the home grown competition rolls out a twin, let alone an inline 4. This is the perfect opportunity for the Wing to make a head start, and more importantly, a statement. Pity you're still under the impression that lawnmowers hold the key to the future, as per your latest press release.

Things like this makes the Synner wonder, what exactly does the product planning division do? Sit around and play Sudoku all day? Take my word for it, put the Synner in charge of the aforementioned task... and he shall make sure that "Honda Motorcycles and Scooters India Ltd". stands for just that. And not "Honda Power products and Lawnmowers India Ltd".

Of course, being the plastic fanatic that he is, expect a reskinned RVF 400/ CBR 400 on the proposal board too.

Ah.. The power of dreams.. Pipe dreams, rather.

Rock on and ride safe.

Crossroads.

2007-09-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

Time for another post, dontcha' think?

The synner has been very busy lately. Very Very busy..

To recap the happenings of the last 10 or so months, the Synner has been in Singy doing his Honors in Media From SAE Institute of Australia and Middlesex Uni, UK. As of the moment, he is done with all, but the final project+thesis (which is quite the juicy one, trust me. Will unveil it soon 'nuff), and is contemplating the prospect of entering the job market within the next couple of months.

Have been sending job applications left, right and bang center through the oh-so-wonderful job portals. Know what? Almost FOUR HUNDRED applications sent, FOUR interviews attended, and not ONE job in sight. Oh yes, apparently, most jobs here require that you have a Permanent Resident card, and getting that hallowed piece of blue paper in your hands; take a wild guess, one needs a job..!

Oh yes, the Synner experienced this vicious cycle first hand when he got sidelined for a surefire job, just because there was another candidate around with a PR card. Can't blame the company. Why do the extra paperwork when there is someone else around who already has his/ her's done? After all, talented or not talented, each and every one in this world are replaceable by someone else.

Anyhoo, long story short, no more pimping thru job portals. I know that quite a few peeps check out this little blog of mine from time to time, so here's one last self-pimp to ya all. Yes,the Synner would appreciate it if any one of you have an opening for your's truly.

Here's what he can do:

Write. well that's what got you hooked on this blog thingy in the first place, right? ;-)
Make cool looking graphic thingies. Well, the Synner has been in the graphics industry since 2001, and has four years of full time experience under his belt. He also boasts about some assorted achievements that he has put into his resume to make it look nice and fat. No really, they ARE authentic. :-D
Design/ model in 3D. Some of my faithful synnors/ synnoras know that the synner is into designing and 3D modeling, with a fetish for things automotive (motomotive? is that a word?). Well, he can conjure up some really "out there" stuff in his twisted mind, and model them too. Here's some proof.
By virtue of undertaking a research oriented course, the Synner is now equipped with skills in cultural studies, general research and business ethics regarding Intellectual property such as patents, copyrights, trademarks. So, if anyone needs a guy to partner a team that does product feasibility studies, brand building, market research, ad capaigns, product concepts etc. You know whom to contact.
Assorted creative stuff. You name it, 'm on it. The humor and sarcasm come free of charge.
Ride bikes mighty well. Well, we all can dream of the perfect job, can't we? ;-)

Apologies in advance for this extreme hard sell pimp, but as they say, you make your own destiny. Or hire consultants to do it. Since The Synner's bank balance resembles the atomic weight of sodium (too many decimal points, nothing in front. Funny, eh? No? well, I try...), the latter option is outta question.

So here's a shout out to all the synnors and synnoras who chance upon this blog: If you have a job that matches the profile described above, give the Synner a shout at sandblaster2001@gmail.com, and he shall be much obliged. And he will be obliged 10% more if the job has anything to do with automobiles. You sir, from Ford Motor Corporation.. Yes, the one who checks my blog every 10-15 days, 'm lookin' at you. Or how about you sir, From Honda R&D Tokyo? Anyone?

The Synner's online portfolio can be found HERE, and he shall send in older works+resume upon receiving a mail.

Rock on and ride safe.
...and review my resume while at that. :-P

It's raining bikes.. and lawsuits.

2007-09-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

Well well well...

Ever hoped to score with that chick living down the lane, only to be abducted by the entire female gymnastics team of Ukraine and being used as their sex toy thereafter? And then lay back, and watch them fight with each other on who could satisfy you better?

Pardon the extremely cheesy innuendos, but this is what the Indian motorcyclist has been subjected to, the past few days. Yes, the same dude who has been complaining of being deprived of anything and everything two wheels, is getting spoiled for choices now. Of course, true to his reputation, he will complain about the speed at which his existing bike is getting outdated, but that really is besides the point.

Well, to start off, our perennial news maker, Bajaj, decided that 5 months(till the Auto expo, that is) is too long to stay out of the front pages, and set ablaze the sparklers. But for once, there was no new bike. Not yet, but there was, an all new engine that could sniff the petrol fumes from the nearest gas station, go to china, come back, and still have enough in the tank to idle for 2 minutes. I know, I know.. yet another econo-miser.. Doesn't do jack shit for the enthusiast. But we'l come to that later.

Long story short, the new eXceed, or whatever this new contraption is called, made the others sit up and take notice. Of course, given the track record, it was, but foolish to expect them to retaliate in a similar fashion. Here's what was expected:

- A certain pot-bellied senior citizen from Haryana would issue orders for an immediate redesign of stickers.

- A group of track savvy gentlemen down south would launch a bike half a step ahead, in 6 months time.

- The Indian arm of the world's second largest bike maker would bury their head in the proverbial sand and pretend that all this is not happening.

- The Indian arm of the world's LARGEST bike maker... well.. they're here.. yeah.. one of these days.. they're bound to launch.. something.. yeah.. definitely.. annnytime now.. zzzzzz.......

- Do the rest even matter?

Well, most of them went along the expected lines. Most. except one. You see boys, the group of conservative gentlemen down south decided that enough was enough, Traded in their Safari suits for Bermudas and Tees, their filter coffees for margaritas and kick started a party, the likes of which, was never seen before in the subcontinent. They flipped a good ol' birdie, went ahead and launched SEVEN new products. In one day.

Hey hey, it's not as magna-tastic as it may sound. 3 of the 7 are three wheelers. Off to the ignore zone they go.

One is an electric scoot. Maybe Medha Patkar could endorse that one.. Whatever.

One is a re-stickered econo-miser. Son, would you be a dear and join your three wheeled brethren over there at the i-zone?

and now, we come to the juicy bit.

Remember that eXceed thingy i was talkin 'bout? Well, these doods just conjured up something that pwned it before birth. Ladies 'n gentlemen, The new TVS flame is as tasty a 125 as ever seen in these parts, the suzuki inspired styling bits notwithstanding. But like most things sexy these days, it brought controversy along with it, and last heard, the two companies are suing each other (or are threatening to) over their interpretation of the Intellectual Property law and infringement of the same. If you ask your's truly though, no publicity is bad publicity, and the whole issue will be laid to rest once some green 'uns pass hands.

(commence sarcasm)

But i do wonder, would HH sue them both for launching too many bikes? And The grand poobah themselves, HMSI, sue the whole lot coz.. well, coz they can? Maybe, 6 months down the line, David E. Kelley would adapt the whole deal into an episode of Boston Legal...

Atleast, Shatner's an interesting watch...

(end sarcasm)

Enough nonsensical BS.

Lastly, remember that Apache RTR thingy that was launched a few months back? Well looks like TVS is the new Bajaj, coz that bike just received its first upgrade. And no, it's not a set of stickers. Rather, it is a Fuel Injection system and half a horsie up on the power stakes. Rumors also abound of a rear disc. If I could channel Little Red Riding Hood,

"RTR, what a humongous spec-sheet you've got there"..!
"All the more better to woo you away from the Bajaj dealership, baby"....

If one could let the excitement over the new launches subside for a minute, let's examine the given situation more closely and see what's in store for the enthusiast. For starters, am I the only one who's noticing something strange here?

All this is happening a good 5 months south of India's biggest automotive extravaganza, the Auto Expo.

..And why would it be this way? Why on earth are our beloved bike makers, world famous for holding their cards so close to their chest that they're mistaken for parts of their anatomy, spill the beans so far removed from the one place where they can hype their "new launches" to ten times what they are actually worth?

Coz they have bigger cards stashed in the back pocket.

Yes boys, the only reason, as i see it, for these guys to flaunt their current wares is coz they have something bigger and better stowed in their basements. Machines, that i sincerely do hope, are actually worth the hype and the anticipation. One of the industry's worst kept secrets is that Bajaj is working on two bigger bikes, the first is a 250/300 CC (depending on who you ask) single with updated cycle parts (and no, this one ain't no pulsar) and more importantly, a 400 twin. If these two see the light of the day at Auto Expo, trust me, Bajaj stock holders will be a bunch of happy puppies....

Fellow Interweb warriors are also whispering about TVS and THEIR bigger bike (with a modern day valvetrain possibly) undergoing testing. If you ask me, it's about damn time they stopped showing parts bin special "concepts" and showed something that actually has a production future.

Yamaha, I hope to god, will finally launch something that doesn't need a pseudo macho faux idol's pitiful endorsement to sell. Guys, that V-Ixion based machine better be ready by this Jan.. else, 'm buying some voodoo dolls....

Honda.. well.. annnytime now.. yeah...

In other news, Kinetic DID launch a brand new scooter thingy that's an offshoot of their "marriage" with SYM. You can read more about that at Rearset's shack down the road. Me, I couldn't care less about things that don't put a fuel tank between my legs. The same goes for the Bollywood Bimbos that endorse them, and their corresponding Mimbos. Get that Mito 650 here soon, will ya?

All eyes on Auto Expo then, gentlemen. And Yes, I love watching gymnastics.

Something to ponder over.

2007-08-19T04:27:00.000-07:00

Some of us here are aware that sporty sub-400 CC motorcycles are all-but-dead in most parts of the world, the exceptions being japan of course, and a few other far eastern markets. This is largely due to the fact that manufacturers haven't bothered to update/ have stopped production of these machines in favor of bigger fry, namely, the 600s and the thou's.

Well, that may be about to change soon. Pretty damn soon.

as reported by MC-USA,

Power limits have been scrapped in Japan, meaning that home factories can now sell their full-power versions to the home market. For a decade they have been limited to 100 hp, with different restrictions on smaller models. This move could see bikes like 400's getting a new lease of life and produced with high output engines, which of course would make them attractive to buyers elsewhere in the world!

What only a handful of people know is that motorcycle licenses are horribly, nay, obscenely expensive in Japan. Apart from the high licensing fee, the candidates have to pass strict practical tests that range from OK-ish high speed slalom runs to are-you-friggin-kiddin-me? stuff like picking up the bike (of the license class you desire) from a dead drop (yeah, picking up a 172 KG open class sport bike... Makes for a great Sunday morning workout, no? :D ).

But still, the sporty minded customers in the island country go through hellfire and brimstone to reach the holy grail that is a supersport/ litrebike, even though a 400 would be closer to the levels of performance they can achieve on the strictly policed state, not to mention infinitely more wallet friendly. Why, you ask? Here's why:

- A VFR/ RVF 400 or the Ninja 250 ain't exactly what one calls "cutting edge", in terms of design and cycle parts.

- Bikes like the Hornet 250/400, which DO look good, aren't exactly performance rides, by Jap standards. Hell, these are the kinda bikes Pizza delivery men use over there (30 mins.. Nahin toh free... ride? :D ).

- Every class of automobile in Japan has (had. as per the news report, this changes) power restrictions imposed. This severely restricts the performance potential of smaller bikes.

So to summarize, it's quite clear that if one is in the market for a modern sportsbike that doesn't look like it was handed down to you by your uncle Harry, er.. Hiroku, one has (had) no option, but to look upwards on the displacement ladder. And since there is no reason to continue development of these bikes for the home market, the big 4 withdrew them from international markets/ continue selling them unchanged (think Ninja 250 again).

Which was a big problem as far as prospective plans for India were considered. Was.

As every Tom, Dick and Bihari knows, India is starving for a proper sportbike in the under 400cc category. We need something that ain't too far out there, but one (or two) genuine steps ahead of lawnmowers. In other words, we need a modern day RVF 400.

Just one problem. There IS no modern day RVF 400.

Which completely fruitcakes-up the plans for India, as the only "modern" under-400 bikes that the big 4 have are the likes of the Twister 250 and the Fazer 250. Bikes that remind me of the skinny geek who decided that he had enough of bullies kicking sand in his face, skipped the workout regime, roided himself up to the gills, and returned to realize that the bullies are still bigger than him. Did I fail to mention that they are still powered by singles?

If you ask me, a roided up (p)unicorn is hardly the kinda bike I have in mind whilst writing a cheque for six figures. Looks like all hope is lost, eh?

Not so. Thanks to this new development, the Big 4 will once again be motivated to develop state-of-the-art, under-400 machines that look and feel every bit as awesome as their bigger brethren. Additional motivation comes from the fact that world over, attempts are made to develop novice classes of racing where the bikes aren't powerful enough for them to do something stupid on it, yet are fast and modern 'nuff to give them a feel of the real deal.

Great news for markets like India. A 75-90 Bhp YZF R4? 'm game.

Rock on and ride safe.

Caution: Major vent-out in progress.

2007-08-07T04:09:00.000-07:00

So YAMAHA India decides to say "adios, el dumbo" to their former brand manager, Mr. John "pseudo-macho" Abraham. And approximately 83.67 percentage of India's population is shell shocked.

The Synner says, "Peeps, get a friggin' life".

Why? Coz signing that worthless piece of.. something was the dumbest thing that Yamaha India did. The Synner knows that desperate people(or MNCs) do desperate things, but John f'n Abraham? Oh come on!

For one, the synner is sick and tired of seeing random celebrity endorsing automobilia saying that "it was their life long passion to ride/drive one of these" and such.. bullcrap. And don't give me the whole deal about "but synn, John is an avid biker".. and so forth....

O' friggin' R'ly?

The dude used to ride around a Hayabusa that his girlfriend gifted him. A Suzie (not the girlfriend. The bike). Then out of the blue, he signs for Yamaha, gets paid a shitload, and is handed TWO SBKs on a silver platter. And you know what's worse? The "life long Yamaha fan" is so in touch with the history of Yamaha that he makes comments like "The tuning forks in the Yamaha logo symbolize the bike's suspension forks" and such (Courtesy an old issue of BS Motoring). To which i say,

Dear Mr. Abraham,

Please type www.yamaha.com in your browser window and press enter. You will be directed to a portal. Check out which Yamaha product is featured in prominence there. *Hint* it's not a bike. Get a clue.

Thanks,
The Synner.

P.S. No, not another story about growing up on RX's/ RD's. Just about every red blooded male in India did just that, myself included. That doesn't make you a bigger fan than any, sir.

But then again, methinks that to lip sync and gyrate to Bollywood "item numbers", one doesn't need to know jack shit about music.

Anyhoo, the point here is,

a) The company selected the dude as their brand manager coz he's got looks (albeit, a carefully crafted look. guess money can buy you anything. Check out the dude's photos circa early 90's. You'll see what i mean. But, I digress), and that he acted in a "biker" movie that is a disgrace to anything on two wheels. A movie that had the misfortune of making it big in the box office, thereby corrupting the minds of the Indian youth forever.

b) The dude signed the dotted line coz he was paid. A shitload. Trust me folks, it had nothing to do with "His brother not letting him ride" or some crappola like that, and if you (like some people i know) believed that, please, drink some milk every day. It helps with brain cell development you see... For all we know, the dude would have said the same about a 50 CC moped from China if he was paid the same (with all due apologies to Chinese moped makers. Seriously, as crappy and unoriginal your bikes are, you deserve better).

Well, there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel, and it lights up a sign board that says:

"Common sense prevails at Yamaha India!! ......Finally".

For the benefit of the good folks at Yamaha India, I say this,

Dear doods,

You know who can endorse your bikes best? Your bikes. And you don't have any of them in India. No, lawnmowers don't count. Especially when they are grafted with the cranium of a praying mantis. So get your collective heads out of your big friggin' ignorant ass, and do the needful. Give us some good bikes, make an ad that shows nothing but them, and display a slogan on the lines of "Now here are some REAL motorcycles. Beat that, bitches".

Thanks,
The Synner.

...and then see the cash registers overflow.

Baby steps.

2007-07-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

Whoa...

One whole month since the Synner last posted in these parts.. Can't blame him, had been real busy with academia and such...

Anyhoo, the Synner assures his faithful synnors and synnoras that he'l back sooner rather than later, with more of the usual fare.. Kindly bear with him for a short while, as he embarks upon his quest for better grades in this (next to last) module..

But for now, here's a look at what's been happening in Synnerland lately.

1) Regular readers must have noticed that little circular blue thingy on the right side of the blog. Yes, the synner is now a member of Motorcycle Bloggers International, and proud of it.. :-)

2) A few days earlier, the Synner was interviewed by BlogInterviewer.com, which is a site that interviews bloggers of note. More on this HERE.

3) Most of you must have heard of the new Indian 2wheeler e-magazine, Monoshock. If not, check 'em out HERE. Trust me, they are really worth a look, and the Synner is not just saying that coz he's gonna be writing for them from next month on. :-D They really are pretty darn good.

That just about covers it all for now. Oh, and a big shout goes out to my pal Manas(s) who's off ta yankeeland for a fresh innings in academia. May you be blessed with a hundred ghetto chicks.. er.. i mean, superbikes.. :-D

Rock on and ride safe...

Two wheeler apartheid.

2007-06-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

Thailand.

Now there's a unique country for ya. Unlike most other Asian countries, the home of Singha beer was never colonized. For most Indians, spending a day or two in Thailand would be a unique experience, owing to the complete lack of colonial influences and customs. But more important to our little discussion here, the two wheeler enthusiasts among us will be shell shocked with the complete lack of "two-wheeler-apartheid".

Confused? Don't be.

For this is a country that does not believe that certain bikes should be left untouched by the general biking populace. Have money? can buy. Period. whereas in India, if Mr. Joe Average so as much dream of owning an SBK, he's slapped on the wrists with a few dozen draconian laws and unrealistic prices. Add to that the downright sickening hype that surrounds the whole deal of buying, owning and riding an SBK. You think one Mr. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi felt bad being thrown off a railway coach in South Africa even though his merits eclipsed the collective educational qualifications of the train crew?

Think again.

OK, let's forget the superbikes and go down a few rungs on the displacement ladder, shall we? In India, the epitome of performance (till very recently) is an air cooled, 17PS single with 80's tech chassis/ suspension. In Thailand, for roughly the same price (OK, a bit more), one gets a 17PS liquid cooled single with a twin spar frame and modern suspension. Surprised? wait for the punchline. Both bikes come from the same manufacturer.

The world's largest two wheeler manufacturer at that.

These double standards make me sick to my very core. Which pot bellied MBA A-hole decided that the former motorcycle is a better bet for India? would he please stand up so that i can run him over with the same over hyped motorcycles that he sells? And in the likely even of an "India is not yet ready for that kinda technology" argument from him, 'l personally make sure to back it up, and run him over once more. We get 7G-tronic trannies in luxury cars these days. Nay, we get automatic climate controls in Rs 500,000 cars in India. Don't you DARE say a liquid cooled single pot is technology overkill.

Getting back to Thailand, quite a few Indian bikers will be surprised to hear that India and Thailand have a Free trade agreement, by which auto components can be imported for zero duties from singha-land to apna Bharat. Ya hear that? Zero. Zilch. Nadda. Which means that selling the 17PS liquid cooled 150 CC machine in India for a competitive price is easier than what they'd like us to believe.

Don't believe me? Get this. A certain Ford India sells an SUV called the Endevour, of which, several key parts are imported from Thailand. And they sell it cheaper than it's two major competitors, the Hyundai Tucson and the Honda CR-V.

Proof enough?

And that's just one company. Not that the rest are doing anything better. Every single mofocycle, yeah, MOFOcycle company in India uses the ignore button as far as the enthusiastic motorcyclist is concerned.

But fortunately, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and this time, it's darn sure not a freight train coming to pulverize the performance minded biker's dreams.

All eyes on Auto Expo '08. Pot Bellied MBAs are NOT welcome.

A tribute. To a man who gave me a reason to watch the pseudo sport of kings.

2007-06-26T02:34:00.000-07:00

This post is kinda different from the normal fare that you see in these pages. But since this is my avenue of letting my thoughts out and since this IS a thought that needs to be penned down, here it is.

Pro wrestling. Now there is a term that means different things to different people. For some, it is one of those kiddie shows that you grow out of. For life long fans like me, it's the place where boys grow up into men while shedding more than their share of blood, sweat and tears.

Yes folks, wrestling ain't "fake", it's "scripted". There is a difference. Unlike movie stunts where the actors use subs and those in turn, use ropes for their death defying falls and such, pro wrestling uses no such thing. The matches are scripted and the result is decided upon, yes. But you bet your ass that it takes something special to last two minutes in that ring. And the injuries are real.

Oh yes, the injuries are VERY MUCH real. Arnie may have sat in his A/C coach while the crew was filming the Terminator 2 "Truck jump" scene and watched the whole thing from a safe distance, but Darren Drozdov got paralyzed from neck down from a botched D'lo Brown running powerbomb. Steve Austin got his neck broken from a miscalculated Owen driver. Chris Benoit......

Chris Benoit.

The "Rabid wolverine", Chris "The crippler" Benoit passed away this sunday. And for him, I dedicate this tribute. This was one of the few handful of wrestlers who made watching this "sport" worthwhile for me. He was one of those guys who were not just great at what they do, but was FUCKIN SPECIAL at what they do. He not only looked great while doing his moves, he made the other guy look awesome as well. In fact, one of the long running jokes amongst us wrestling fans was that give Chris Benoit a broomstick, and he'd get a 3 star out of it. Yes, he was that damn good.

For newer fans, the only memories of Benoit they have must be in the WWE, where he comes out to the tune of "Whatever" by Our lady peace, and then proceeds to kick ass. For older ones like me, the memory runs a little deeper. From the immensely technical matches in Japan where he called himself "The Pegasus Kid" (which was his tribute to The dynamite kid, his life long idol), to WCW where he was totally unappreciated and finally, to the WWE where his life long dream of becoming the world champion came true (no, that disgrace of a title reign in WCW don't count).

The man was amazing. If there was one word to describe him, that'd be "Intensity". He made sure that everything he did in that ring looked damn real. He made sure that the legacy of the Hart Dungeon very much was not hyped. He made sure that he gave everything and then some to the sport that he so dearly loved. A sport he loved so much that he went through neck fusion surgery to repair the vertebrae he broke from the years of punishing matches, sat out for 16 months, and came back to kick ass better than ever.

Unfortunately, something or the other drove the man to the edge the other day. On June 25, 2007, Chris Benoit committed suicide shortly after he took the lives of his wife Nancy and son Daniel.

I could say "if only he had taken a moment off to think everything through" or something like that. But then again, I hardly knew the man. I may never be able to justify the last choice he made in his illustrated life, but that gives me no right to pass judgment on him. So, 'l just say this.

Thank you.

Thank you Chris, for making me a wrestling fan for life. Thank you for all the great memories you have given me and the other fans. Thank you for the awesome matches you have had with Eddie, the hart brothers, Malenko, Jericho, Angle, Lyger and a whole lot of other performers i can't name at the moment. Thank you for showing me that there is more to wrestling than idiotic storylines and comedy spots. If there is one thing 'd do to cherish your memories, that'd be to hunt down videos of every single match you ever had, watch them, turn my head heavenside, and thank you once again.

Thank you, Chris Benoit. Thank you for making me a fan.

..Somewhere up there, two men are re-enacting this scene.

Godspeed, Eddie and Chris. Take good care of each other. And take care of Owen too while you're at that. Miss you guys a lot.

R.I.P Chris Benoit (1967-2007)

For those who have no clue of what this is all about, here's Benoit at his best, in the Owen Hart tribute match with Bret hart, WCW Monday Nitro, 1999.

United states of India.

2007-06-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

..."here's your room sir, and that's your bed. Please keep your luggage here and follow me, so that i can show you around".

The oh-so-familiar, nasal voice of the filipino maid woke the synner up from a long overdue slumber. At 10.30 AM. And without even turning his head, he knew that another roommate has arrived. And without even hearing the new guy's voice, he knew he'd be Indian. Well, look'ee here! The synner was right! He IS Indian!

Nine months in this hostel, and one thing has remained constant. Indian dude comes? Put him in room no. (my room). Chinese dude comes? Put him in room no. (the room next to mine). In fact, this has become so predictable that the synner calls them little India and Chinatown, respectively.

More than once, he has felt the urge to say these words to the hostel guys:

"You know, India is a big country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters, yet amongst the billion of us, we speak a gazillion languages. And none of them languages are called "Indian". In fact, some of these languages are so different that it'd make no difference to me if you'd replace the new guy with someone from Azerbaijan. Which you may very well have done coz chances are, apart from the same colored passport, this dude and me have nothing in common."

It's almost as if they expect everybody from the same nation to share some sorta universal code of conduct. Yeah.

But he found a better solution. You see, the synner loves to see the bewildered look on their faces when he talks to the new guy in perfectly good English. he loves to see them racking their brains wondering why they don't hear us interacting in "Indian".

Ignorance is a bliss. Let them enjoy theirs.

Rock on and ride safely.

Yamaha India must be having a cat's soul..

2007-06-23T02:01:00.000-07:00

..Or so it seems, from their history in the Indian market. Ever since they said "Hasta La vista babay" to the legendary RX series, they have been making wrong move after wrong move, akin to you or me being caught facing Mr Vishwanathan Anand in the game of kings. And if they were indeed blessed with nine lives, the fuel gauge is almost touching empty now.

Which is a damn shame, because this is the second largest motorcycle company in the world. I for one, know what Yamaha can really do. For i see examples of REAL motorcycles sporting the three tuning forks out in the streets of Singy. Trust me on this, folks, the new R6 really is a treat for the eyes, in the real world. The detailing on that thing will put a swiss watchmaker to shame, let alone the Italian boutique bike makers.

But coming back to India, I know what Yamaha India can do too. For i learned riding on a tuned RX 100. I still remember the unintentional wheelies i used to pull off on that darn thing when i was still reasoning that mofo called clutch. A sweet ride. It was as if the rear wheel had a hotlink to my right wrist. man...

Fast forward a coupl'a years, and it's time for me to buy my first bike. Now there indeed was a very desirable bike called the CBZ in the market, but since my heart beats with an unusual time signature (ya-ma-ha.. ya-ma-ha..), i decided to give it a go by, and zero in on the Yamaha 4 stroker around, the YBX 125(there was also the fire breathing RX Z 5 speed, but the mucho expensivo spares sealed it's fate in my short list). A much more sedate ride than the RX, but one genuine Yamaha trait remained. The free revving engine that just loves to get manhandled. Ah.. good times.

Well, that's just about all the right things Yamaha did right in India. Coz this was when Yamaha India turned into something so unlike themselves (and so unlike your's truly), and that is, extremely politically correct. And that's when the cat started to lose lives left, right and bang center. coz you know, when there are dozens of hamsters and canines in the market, nobody really is very keen to take home a cat as a pet.

Anyhoo.. Just before their number was up, the cat got a shot in the arm, who goes by the name of Ishikawa san. This man here, was a biker at heart, and knew that lawnmowers and mobile gensets were better marketed by Yamaha power products, and not Yamaha motor. The man slowly, but surely changed the way Yamaha India thought (can't blame the lot. most of 'em probably started out their careers assembling Rajdoots that were later endorsed by the fearless Shatrukhan Sinha), acted, and pro acted. For some odd reason, I knew that this man was different from the revolving-door-CEOs that preceded him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt all thru the mindless debacle of Yamaha India shutting shop. I found logic in his decision of scrapping plans for me-too models one step before they were actually launched. And thank you almighty gods, Ishikawa san Didn't let me down.

A day before this post, Yamaha India has announced plans for a brand new motorcycle (apart from the SBK imports, that is), which would probably sport a 150 CC powerplant. And it is supposed to be priced in the ballpark of INR 80k and then some. Payeng Has already reported on it, and Rearset will probably give us more info in a day or two. From the way it looks, the upcoming motorcycle is gonna be based on this:

The Yamaha V-Ixion. I presume the name is a clever take on the word "vision", and nothing else could better describe what Yamaha India is in dire need as of now. But here's the problem. As soon as the news breaks cover, the Indian motorcyclist awakens: Whoa! 80k for a 150CC bike? That's his question of the day. For him, i have a couple of thoughts.

1) Sonny, Cubic capacity does not determine how a bike performs. Brake Horsepower does. Along with other factors such as power/weight ratio. The V-Ixion sports a power rating of 15PS and a dry weight of 114 Kg. Didja read that last part? That means that this bike here will leave the jack-of-all-trade bikes smelling it's non-existent exhaust fumes at every traffic light GP. Coz all of them weigh in at around 140+Kg.

Now, How does the V-Ixion do this? For that, we come to point doux.

2) See that silver thingy under the fuel tank? That'd be the Deltabox twin spar frame. Yeah, the same sorta frame that the R1 and the R6 uses. It is die cast, has half as much welds as your average double cradle, and weighs in even lesser. It is also more rigid than some of the track only specials that we have in India. Capisce?

In addition to that, the V-Ixion sports an important piece of kit. A 4 valve, Liquid cooled, SOHC engine that is sips in dino juice via a 28 mm carb. Light years ahead of lawnmower inc. if you ask me.

You want quality, you better be prepared to pay for it. You don't barge into Dominos and complain that your neighborhood baker sells pizzas for half the price, do you?

------------

That being said, the motorcycle for India, in all probability, sports changed specs. And as per the news item, Yamaha is yet to finalize the specs. Just in case somebody at Yamaha India is having a day off and is doing a blog search on google, here are my two cents (singapore):

1) More power is never enough. Never. If you want this motorcycle to start a Revolution, please endow it with at least 17PS of power. And just so as to please the Indian motorcyclist, please bore it out by another 25CC. Come on, how hard is it to re-program your milling machines to drop a wee bit more metal off the block? It'd help the engine run a bit more relaxed, too.

2) Please please please, slap on a full fairing on the darn thing. If it is too late to draw up a new one, slap on the one from the TZR 50. You guys have been making it for quite some time now. And it's just plastic! If nothing, it'd make my job a lot easier to convince Mr. Tom, Dick and Bihari about the justification of the price tag. Seriously though, 'm sick and tired of Naked this and naked that. If it ain't a naked chick, 'm not interested. Bring on the fairing, digital meter console and clip on handlebars from the TeeZeR 50.

3) With the added power, a 90/90 front and a 120/70 rear tyres won't be too out of place, no?

4) Now that we are into the nitpicking category, why not paint the frame matte black and chop off the "heel shifter" part of the gear lever? (yes, i have very keen eyes. Thank you).

'd also have asked for a macho-er exhaust, but 'm willing to retrofit one myself.

Yamaha India, If you do bring out a motorcycle which complies with my wishlist, I promise to use every method of mind control i can find (short of LSD) to influence "The Indian motorcyclist" into buying one of these.

Now playing: Aerosmith- Nine lives.

Re-inventing the wheel. Or are they?

2007-06-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

Well well well...

The synner is fresh off a debate with a friend. The topic of discussion was, as usual, the Indian motorcycling scene. But this time, the discussion was based around something really interesting. Something that every Indian motorcyclist will have an opinion on:

Are Motorcycle manufacturers (in India) moving at an evolutionary or revolutionary pace?

Yes sir'ee bob, the extra letter does make a world of difference. You see, the friend had this argument that one company put in Disc brakes and electric starters as standard fitment (or at a slight premium) into almost every bike they made, thereby forcing other manufacturers into doing the same; and this,according to him is a revolutionary step.

Well, is it?

Think about this: Does a front disc brake and an electric starter make a bike look and feel substantially different from the rest of the competition? especially when ALL the bikes in the market sport extremely similar air cooled single cylinder engines and twin downtube (or sometimes, a single downtube), twin shock-ed frames? Coz once you take off all the Technicolor plastic bits, every Indian motorcycle looks the same. Dated.

To me, adding a disc brake, an electric starter, a clear lens headlamp, electronic goodies etc.. are all value additions. Nothing more, nothing less. As my friend did, one could make a strong case about disc brakes, owing to the improvements in safety and dynamics that they provide. But the fact remains, These value additions happen because the bean counters in the company have struck a good deal with certain ancillary manufacturers to source these parts at a bargain basement price. This, in my books, is evolution.

So pray, what IS revolution?

Well, for starters, a substantial change in Engine and Chassis tech is a must. Because these changes happen in factory R&D rooms, and are initiated by passionate engineers/ designers. Not by bean counters. Do kep in mind that by "substantial change in engine", I do not mean boring the engine out to a higher displacement. No wei Jose.. The synner is talking about bits and pieces like DOHC, 4 valves/ cyl, Liquid cooling, 6 speed close ratio gearboxes, and of course, multiple cylinders.. the works. Coz once these bits are put into a motorcycle, they become more than USP (which a disc brake is). They make the bike stand head and shoulders above the more mundane competition. They make a statement like "Hey look, our bike is clearly superior to the rest of the crap out there. Any questions? Didn't think so".

That, my friends, is revolution.

Same goes for chassis tech. Adding gas shocks is not revolution. Introducing a twin spar or a trellis frame which uses the engine as a stressed element is. Ditto for monoshock suspension. One company did launch a motorcycle with a direct action monoshock suspension (BTW, this was not coz they wanted to actually "revolutionize the Indian Motorcycling scene, but because they had a cheap and feasible monoshock-ed platform available in China). But the bike did not do so well, because the rest of the package was pretty much Meh. Although it was "unintentionally revolutionary" (for re-introducing monoshocks to India. Not many may remember the BSA Bond that had a cantilever monoshock, back in the 80's), no other manufacturer picked up on the concept. Why? Because their twin shocked models were selling well in their own right. And as the bean counters say, "If it ain't broke, why fix it"?

That brings us to the bigger picture. As i see it, evolution, in the Indian motorcycling realm, is a bean counter induced phenomenon. It is also highly economically viable. Revolution on the other hand, is a child of the creative minds of the designers and engineers in the R&D room. 9/10 times, revolutionary concepts require massive changes in the way of thinking, manufacturing and financial handling. And since not many of these creative individuals sit in a climate controlled board room debating these ideas out, evolution wins the war more times than not.

Do let me know what you think.

The real deal.

2007-06-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Recently, the synner took part in a debate comparing motoGP and the Isle of Manx Tourist trophy. The former is the premiere class two wheeler chapionship while the latter is a once in a year race that takes place on a narrow street circuit. Here's his take on the whole deal:

-----------------------------

Can Rossi excel in the Isle of manx?

I don't see why not. The man can probably make a Scania 18 wheeler do donuts too. He's that darn good when it comes to wrestling motorized transportation into submission. Whatever the situation may be. (Apart from his exploits in MotoGP, jog your memories back to his exploits in a rally car, a dirt bike, an F1 car and go karts)...

Can McGuinness excel in motoGP? well...

possible, yes.. probable? not so much. And it has nothing to do with the tracks or the competition. It has got to do with technology. motoGP bikes use cutting edge, non production elements like carbon brakes and engines that revv up to 19k RPMs. Things that production bike based racers are unfamiliar with. So an Isle of manx rider should, hypothetically, have a steep learning curve. I personally feel that he would be more at home on a WSBK.

Which is a superior sport?

Now this is a question on a whole different level. motoGP is the king of all 2 wheeled motorsport not just because of the skill of the riders, but also coz it's the epitome of engineering as far as motorcycles are concerned. It is also more than a sport, it is an event. With strong media backing. And hence the popularity. Yes, not everyone can ride a motoGP bike, but there are far more competent riders than there are bikes on the grid. And that's a fact.

Isle of manx. To use the oft abused cliche, one DOES need cajones of steel to do three digit speeds and then some on a street circuit where the closest thing to a padded barrier is a telephone pole. motoGP offers gravel and tarmac run off areas, and with it, a considerable margin of error (please read this in relative context ). Isle of manx offers no such luxury. Do remember that these are motorcycles (in the litrebike class) that every automotive magazine proclaims are too powerful for street use. And that sentence is not phrased with speed limits in mind.

End of the day, there probably are a lot of riders in each category who could swap seats and put on an eyebrow racing performance. But that is besides the point. The point is, it takes an extra ounce of courage and sheer madness to attempt an Isle of manx run than a motoGP race.

Case closed.

-----------------------------

Of course, there were strong arguments on the other side too. But then the synner stumbled upon this little piece that reaffirmed his POV:

"Then there was the privilege of seeing the greatest road racer ever to grace a motorcycle, in what was arguably his finest-ever ride. Mike Hailwood crashed the mighty MV at Sarah's Cottage in the rain and mist. He arrived at the Gooseneck hairpin, where I was watching, battered and bleeding with the MV's screen smashed and two of its megaphone exhausts flattened. I watched wet, cold but transfixed at the courage and riding skill of my hero."

That was a line about former GP world champ Mike Hailwood, and is penned by someone who has more authority on the subject at hand that 30K Xbhpians combined.

Here's a line about McGuinness:

"Bruce Anstey and John McGuiness slugging it out in the Supersport race like two short circuit racers on the last lap of a MotoGP race - the difference being that they were three inches away from a stone-lined sidewalk".

You can read the rest of the article HERE.

Lemme know what you think.

Irony be thy name.

2007-05-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

My.. Things do have a way of sorting themselves out, don't they?

Mere hours since the Synner made that last post, something DID change. And, for the good.

Let's just say, last night, one of the greatest betrayals the synner ever faced sorted itself out. He also got back one of the closest friends he ever had.

The aforementioned betrayal was a massive one. One that changed the synner's life drastically. In a way that he was never the same person again. But last night, he finally let go of that ghost. It doesn't bother him anymore, and he's happier than he has been in a long time coz he got his friendship back.

On that note, let me just say this. A man and woman can go years without contact, and when they do talk to each other, they'll have a few hours worth of catching up to do. But a man and another man can do the same, and pick it up right where they left off. No catching up necessary.

Of course, it feels absolutely great to have one good reason to get up from the bed. The same old; not anymore....

That being said, still playing: Pink floyd - Wish you were here.

Rock on and ride safely.

'm still underslept.

2007-05-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

Ever heard the expression "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"?

Well, not always. Sometimes, even the tough need a break. Now, the synner is as tough as they come when it comes to weathering through stuff (those who know him can vouch for this), but it's time he takes a break, he thinks.

No, it's not work. Coz when the synner starts to work, he just works, and works, and then work some more. Not a problem.

No it's not personal problems, coz the synner's life, at this particular juncture, is far better than it was, say, 2 years before. Not a problem either.

It's just.. The same old crap. Tell me; How many days can you wake up, eat, do the same old, eat some more and then go to bed? Lemme tell you, "Tomorrow's another day" is the stupidest thing 'v ever heard, coz tomorrow sucks just as badly as today. Or the day before. or the day before that. or...

Some of you may ask, they pray, why not change things up a bit? Well, if we all could change things up when and where we wanted to, the dude up above would be jobless, right? Yes, the synner, currently is unable to change things. And that's the reason why he's hating this more than anything else. Coz, if there's one thing he can't stand, it's helplessness. My faithful synnors and synnoras can deduce that from the previous posts.

I would love to go into details, but this is not the time, nor the place. Sufficed to say, he has tried. Tried to make it better. And failed miserably. And is left with the deep feeling that he doesn't belong in this time and place. And he's not even talking about Geographical location. Lord knows, even a skiing vacation in Aspen won't shake things up for him enough.

So, if any Futurama fans out there have perfected a cryogenic machine for hibernating humans, here's a request: Please do lock the synner up, turn the time dial to a 1000 years, and let him out in the year 3007. Coz that may just be the time and place for this untamed spirit.

Until then, he shall listen to Radiohead singing, " I'm a creep... I don't belong here..."

Rock on and ride safely.

P.S. There is one, One person in this world who can instantly make the synner feel better. And for that person, i dedicate this song:

Pink floyd: Wish you were here.

Synner the egyptologist.

2007-05-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

No, your's truly did not hop on a plane to pyramid land and dig up 1000 year old mummies and their daddies' er.. mummies. But what he did do was design a motorcycle incorporating Egyptian art cues, namely the Pyramids, the Sphinx and the golden funeral mask of King Tut. Without further delay, here's the sphiMX:

More of the synner's artwork at http://first-synn.deviantart.com/ . Yeah, I know the link given on the side ("The synner's showcase") ain't working. That's coz the website is perennially under construction.

Anyways, leave your thoughts. And here's rearset's post on the sphinMX. Show him some love, peeps.

Man 'm tired.. where's that six pack?

Rock on and ride safely.

Off the top of my overworked, underslept head.

2007-05-17T01:07:00.000-07:00

Been a long time.. been a long time.. been a long, lonely lonely lonely lonely lonelllly timmmme....

Sorry. Was channeling ye olde rock n roll spirit here.. Been quite some time since the synner has written something that is just off the top of his head, right?

Well, here's some randomness 4 ya.

- Ever noticed the abundance of pseudo bands these days? You know, your standard fare of highly polished teeny bop "heartthrobs" with hairstyles that resemble an electrocuted crow in technicolor? I mean what the blue friggin hell? Are you seriously tellin me that the next Jimmy Paige and Roger waters are hiding inside these assclowns? Tell me exactly that, and i shall show you a liar. Just one question to all the teenage girls who are screamin' their lungs out for these "rock stars": Would you still buy their records and go to their concerts if they were balding, and had skin that resembled a shed snake skin? Yeah, I didn't think so either. FYI, Paige and Waters kinda look like that these days, and even now, can sell out stadiums in their own right. You heard that right kids, old school rock bands used to sell out stadiums. Not a little bingo hall with fancy lighting.

These girls remind me of girls of my generation, who used to cry at Back street boy songs. Yeah. The only difference being, cheesy-chocolate boy-looks in lieu of technicolor-dead-crow. To me, all boybands (save a couple) sounded the same. L-A-M-E. And similarly, all crappy ass, pseudo rockers with/without a number in their names *cough*sum41 /blink182 /maroon5 *cough* sound the same too. If you can't cut a haunting, killer guitar solo/write soulful lyrics/scream your lungs out while still being melodic, stop wasting my time, buddy. Blame dear old MTV for telling kids these days what good music is and what isn't. Hell, i haven't seen Steven Tyler on MTV in about a decade..

Like i said before to someone i know, if this is the future of music, we're history. Bury me in a time capsule with all the rock records from 1995-40 years back, please.

- Superbikes. Yes, my faithful synnors and synnoras know that an SBK is on the top of the synner's wish/self indulgence list. Yet one attribute about them pisses me off royally. Their owners. Or more specifically, the average Indian SBK owner, and his "holier than thou" attitude. Listen up, buddy.. Yes, India is an SBK deprived nation where only the uber-rich can get a shot at these delectable machinery (thanx to our dickheaded politicians. read this ), but that doesn't mean you're some friggin god who can look down upon the rest of us. Coz the only thing that separates the likes of you from some of us ( i won't say all of us. Just the really passionate ones amongst us) is cold, hard cash. Not riding abilities, not technical wizardry, no nothing. So stop showboating about your ride and the stuff you have put on it and such, coz given an equal opportunity, average Joe here can ride the darn thing better than you ever will.

I say this, coz of what i saw when i went SBK parts shopping with a friend of mine the other day. One of the very few Indian SBK-ers who don't believe in showboating; that one. The complete lack of hype was astonishing. No BS from the dealer, no BS from the customer, and least of all, from a few SBK riders we met on the streets. It was just like grocery shopping. Only that the budget was 10 times bigger and both customer and dealer knew their shit. Knew the shit, as in "Does the Yoshimura Tri oval kit come with the required gaskets?" than "Oh i did a high chair wheelie on my supersport the other day. What a steaming pile of unadulterated monkey crap!

I count down the days till i can get an SBK of my own, with my hard earned money. And then my undeserving SBK-owning "friends", you shall see " A little less conversation and a little more action" as the immortal Elvis Presley put it.

Till then, Rock on and ride safely.

Waking up.

2007-04-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

Denial: (psychiatry) a defense mechanism that denies painful thoughts (Wordweb dictionary)

Yes, this post is about denial. Something that I have been denying for the past decade or so.

My mother.

Those who know the synner knows that he rarely talks about family. In fact, most questions about family are met with a one liner that discourages further questioning. That is, until 30 minutes ago.

30 Minutes ago, i read my cousin's blog about one of the sweetest people in the world, my departed uncle. And that took me back a few years. Took me back to a time when i was, but a small kid, living in a happy family. A big family, that somehow, had to bear the sudden shock of the death one of its beloved members, my uncle. And recollecting those memories made me realize, 'm finally ready to talk about some stuff. so here goes: December 10, 1994. The day my uncle left us.

And exactly 2 years and 10 days later, as though by some cruel, ironic twist of fate, my mother died.

Now before we get to that part, let me tell you about my mother:
My mother, was an angel. She was the prettiest woman i ever knew. She was kinder than most people say she had any business to be. She was my teacher, my best friend, and of course, my worst enemy, when we fought.

She woke up at 4 in the morning, coz my grumpy old Grand father(quite the character actually. But 'l leave that for another time) insisted on hand boiled water at 4.30, so that he could go visit the lord just as the temple opens. Sometimes before .

She was a talented classical dancer, and juggled this life long passion even after marriage and 2 kids. Try as she may, my sister will never be half as good as her.

She absolutely despised smoking and drinking, yet turned a blind eye(on the most parts) to my dad coz they were in love.

She taught me the first full song i ever learned so that i could sing it on a stage. I got 3rd prize. I saw one of the happiest faces ever that day.

She would never send a beggar empty handed, no matter how much my dad scolded her. She gave not just money, but food and even cloths. If the beggar happens to be a dear old lady, 9/10 times, she'd leave only after explaining her entire family tree and a synopsis of what happened to whom to my mother.

My mother wasn't sympathetic. She was empathetic. She never cried for someone. She cried WITH them.

But enough with this. A post 100 times as big as this wouldn't be enough to let you know of the gem of a person my mother was. So let's fast forward.

-----------------------------

December 20, 1996.

3 days to go for my 14th B' day. My favorite marble cake(which me and mom had bought from my favorite bakery, the other day. The shop owner even gave us an extra layer of icing) was safely stowed in the fridge.

I had an exam that day. English. It was my last exam (my sister had 2 more, methinks), and me and sis decided to go to the temple, which was just a few mins away.

Now usually, my mother will be busy getting ready for office at this hour. But she felt a bit under the weather that day, so decided to take a short nap after preparing breakfast. Since we lived inside the office compounds itself, this wasn't a big problem. Heh.

I was in the temple, when i felt something odd. For some reason, i couldn't remember the mantras i usually chant. The obsessive compulsive being that i am, i put my hand in the pocket( I do that a lot). And i found that i forgot change that was to be offered at the temple.

Asking my sister (she was 10. Almost.) to stay where she was, i rushed back to my house. I entered my parents bedroom, saw my mother sleeping(?) peacefully, opened the desk drawer as quietly as i can (so as not to wake her up, you see) and took out the change. Then i closed the door quietly again, and rushed back to the temple.

10 minutes later, me and my sister returned from the temple to see my dad in a bewildered state that is beyond my vocabulary to describe. He dragged us both to near our mother. And that is when i looked at her face.

She had the same calm, serene expression. But her skin: It was blue. I tried to recollect all the first aid lessons i learned in school. I sprinkled water on her face. I shook her. I checked her pulse. She had no pulse.

Some part of me already knew she was gone. But i don't think my dad and my sis(poor thing was looking like a scared puppy) knew it yet. A neighbor managed to get his car ready, and off we went to the hospital.

An hour later, she was pronounced dead. The official verdict was, my mother , a life long patient of "fits"(neural disorder), suffered an attack in her sleep, and choked on her own tongue.

My mother was gone.

That evening, with a few blocks of firewood, every earthly memory of my mother went up in flames. And a part of me went with it.

I was never the same again.

-----------------------------

For I didn't cry my heart out a single time that day. I wasn't sad. I was angry.

I was angry at god for doing this to my family.

I was angry at my mother for leaving me stranded.

But most of all, i was angry at myself for not searching for the change in my pocket 5 minutes earlier. Coz if i had, maybe, just MAY BE, I could have reached my house in time to save her. I could have reached home when she was gasping for a breath of air. I could have done SOMETHING. And if she was to go, she could have gone holding her naughty son's hand, looking at his face.

No, i denied her all that. Just because i looked for the fucking change 5 minutes too late.

And in denial i was, since then. I completely shut off all memories of my mother from my memory. I refused to think about how big a mamma's boy i was. I refused to think about all the times she tried to feed me food and 'd just spit it out. I refused to think of the nights when she would wake up from my side to tend to my infant sister who is crying hoarse, which would lead to me crying hoarser, and my mother having the facial expression of being caught between the devil and the sea.

I refused to think about it all.

Yes, i have beaten to pulp people who have been foolish enough to crack jokes about her. But soon after that, i would shut off the memories again. I became blatantly sarcastic, so that all the tender emotions will be masked by it.

Until now.

Amma, i can't do this to you any more. You were a big part of my life, and i miss you like hell. I can't look at a photograph of your's without shedding a tear, so i refused to look at them. You taught me things that no school can teach, and you gave me love that i will never get in my life again. You were the best mother one could ever ask for, and i did disrespect to your memories by shutting them off. In fact, the whole "synner" persona is an offshoot of that denial, although i didn't call myself that name back then.

No more. From today on, I shall cherish every single moment i spent with my mother. Coz in the short 14 years she was in my life, she gave me a life time of memories. Memories that'd make many a person green with envy.

Miss you, mom. Love you.

Motorcycle frame Primer

2007-04-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

Here’s a short(or not) description of various types of frames used in modern day motorcycles:

TWIN SPAR:

The twin spar frame is the type of frame that is seen on almost all sportbikes these days. I.E. the type of frame that braces the engine from both sides, and does not have any section beneath the engine.

That's a Honda VTR frame that also uses the engine as a stressed member. Note the hollowed out inner sections. That saves weight. But more of that later.

The FZ1, FZ6 and the SV all have a variation of this theme. The SV in fact, has a twin spar-trellis hybrid frame. But the difference is, compared to most nakeds, the full on sportbikes have twin spars that use lighter alloys, die-cast sections(both FZs and the SV have die cast frames. The VTR has extruded beams which is heavier), and fewer welds. This makes them more rigid, as well as lighter.

Racebikes of course, use Carbon fibre instead of alloys which is even lighter and more rigid.

MONOCOQUE:

Think the bajaj scooters and Maruti cars. A monocoque is a type of frame structure that forms an integral part of the body. Not like an outline, which the twin spar does. The 12R and the 14 sport a monocoque design, which while not seen much, still is an integral part of the body no less. I'l let the picture do the talking. Compare this with the previous one and spot the differences:

The central section doubles as the airbox, btw.. more weight saving.

TRELLIS:

The red colored part is the trellis frame. Look carefully, and you shall see the three points at which the engine is mounted on to the frame (3 on each side, that is).

1) Between the two cylinders of the 'V'. The frame is triangulated here, and you see a black dot at the lower point of the triangle.

2) Towards the end of the engine block, above the rider footpegs and besides the monoshock. Again, the frame is triangulated here.

3) Directly above point no.2. And next to it is the monoshock top mount.

In addition to this, Ducatis usually sport a subframe that is bolted between the 2 cylinder heads. This adds some rigidity too, in addition to absorbing some vibrations. Look closely and you can sport it.

Which brings us to the next point: The engine is a fully stressed member of the chassis. I.E. Whatever forces the chassis is exposed to while the motorcycle is on the road, the engine absorbs a part of it too, unlike in a cradle type frame (more of that later).

The engine also doubles up as a swing arm pivot in the monster. Bikes such as the 999 and the 1098 have a seperate sub frame that extends from the trellis to do this job.

A trellis frame is made of small tubular sections of metal, while a twin spar, of large sections of it.

Trivia: A ducati engineer once remarked that when building a new frame, the initially build it as stiff as possible, and gradually remove cross beams from here and there to achieve the necessary flex, weight and cost parameters.

Trivia Numero Dos: There's another reason for small scale manufacturers like Ducati and MV sticking to the trellis. As you can see, the frames are made of metal tubes welded together. This manufacturing process is perfect for a low volume manufacturer as opposed to a die-cast twin spar which makes economic sense only when it's mass produced. (given the high expenses associated with creating the die and such).

WHY TRELLIS?

The trellis's strengths lie not just in lightness (this can be countered with a carbon fibre twin spar), but in providing just enough flex and awesome feedback to make one sweet handling motorcycle. Most of us know that in a motorcycle, if the chassis is too stiff, it actually hampers the handling as opposed to 4 wheelers where stiffer is always better. Watch any WSBK race where the bikes brake hard into a corner and you see that the ducati riders are a lot more comfortable (this is rapidly changing lately, BTW). The superior feedback from the trellis frame (along with the rider friendly power pulse of a V-twin) is to be thanked here.

If anyone has tried it out, it is easier to bend a metal tube than a large metal chunk. The same principle applies here.

The more cross beams in the trellis = More rigidity. Lesser cross beams, more flex. The chassis engineer's job is to strike a balance between the two.

Again, conventional logic implies that it is easier to vary these parameters by adding and removing small metal tubes than varying density and tensile strength of an alloy twin spar, and thus creating a new prototype every time.

BACKBONE:

The original CD 100 sported what can be called as a pressed metal backbone chassis. This, by the very definition, is a frame made of sheets of metal pressed into the desired shape, and not a Trellis (a network of metal tubes, round or square, welded together to form triangulated sections). This chassis acts like a spine for the motorcycle and is located centrally (A trellis has 2 sections that go around the engine). Initially, the CD 100 sported a "floating" engine that was hung from it, but two "pseudo" down tubes were added to the later versions which were in fact, only extentions from the crash guard (and thus, removable) and not really a part of the chassis.

Here's a pic of a tubular backbone chassis. Make out the differences between a trellis and this.

Here's a variation that uses square tubing. This is closer to the CD 100 frame and is a common design for off roading motorcycles (of yore. modern ones use a twin spar-cradle combo).

Speaking of downtubes, this is the sort of chassis that (almost) all indian bikes sport. This basically is a tubular backbone chassis with arms extending down from the head stock, and then curves under the engine and extends to meet the chassis again under the swing arm pivot). One arm means single cradle (like the Bajaj Boxer), 2 means double cradle (like the Bajaj Pulsar).

One thing that is worth noting is that in a cradle chassis, the engine is NOT a stressed member. I.E. the chassis shields (cradles ?) the engine against all the forces that the bike endures on the road. Makes sense for the smaller engines we have around here.

There is also a variation of this where the downtube does not cradle the engine, but bolts to it, thus making it a stressed member. This can be seen in the Bullets as well as the Yamaha YBX.

OTHER TYPES:

Well, there is the Benelli TnT frame, which is a combination of a Trellis front section screwed and glued-in to a die cast rear section. This one is indeed a very unique piece of kit.

P.S. The trellis looks a lot different that those found in the Ducatis coz of it's extremely curvy nature and lack of too many cross beams. But 'm guessing that the die cast rear section gives the additional rigidity needed, while the Trellis front section deals with flex parameters.

Again, note the hollowed in sections of the rear sub frame.

P.S. The Honda VTRs And earlier Fireblades had their swing arms pivoted on the engine directly too.

We had briefly mentioned the usage of carbon fibre in GP bikes. Well, here's one of the most innovative takes on the theme. No, it's not from any of the usual names, but from Cagiva, in their V593 GP bike, one of the most beautiful racebikes ever.

As we can see from the picture, the front part of the chassis is an alloy twin spar. But it is the rear part that is worth attention, as it is a self supporting carbon fibre structure. I.E. There is no separate bodywork and chassis, the bodywork IS the chassis! This is possible because of the superior strength to weight ratio of carbon fibre.

----------------------------

Phew! That was a long one..!

Rock on and ride safely.

No time to write a long one.

2007-04-25T03:12:00.000-07:00

Ok this question goes out to all the Synnors out there:

Ever tried to teach a Synnora to change her PC configuration over the internet? (chat, VoIP etc. etc.)

This is the third time the synner did it, and i swear to god, i will never even make an attempt again EVER! The dimwit who coined the phrase "At first if you don't succeed, try try again" has probably never heard of the joke about "Press any key to continue. hey where's the Any key?".

All joking aside, this is indeed a true exercise in futility, and if any esteemed Synnora is reading this, please dump your PC and get yourself a mac. You'll love it. Trust me.

P.S. It's pretty cute lookin' too.

Anyhoo, the eagle eyed amongst you may have noticed that some things about this blog are slightly different from what is mentioned Here:

-So the synner needed some beer money.

-So the synner is shameless.

So what? The earth is still spinning, right? At least he spend several agonizing minutes to decide upon a suitable color combination! **hint** :-D

Rock on and ride safely.

The indian motorcylist.

2007-04-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hi there, Motorcycle manufacturers of the world..!!

This is me, the Indian motorcyclist. The very same guy you want to woo with your latest products.Mind you, i am a very discerning customer, so listen to me, and you shall make a fortune.

- You bring out a bike with awesome looks and a Meh engine, i shall say, "I don't care about looks, i want pure performance on tap".

- You bring out a bike with a killer engine and the same bodywork as a previous model, i shall say, "I am getting ripped off here! If i am expected to pay so and so amount of money, you better make it look unique and special!"

- You bring out a model that looks awesome and has impressive performance, I shall say, " well, look at the fuel efficiency figures! think of the running costs.. Not practical!"

- You bring out a 100 KM/L economiser, I shall say, "We should leave the puny bikes in the past. Bring on the big bikes".

- You contemplate CBU launches of superbikes, I shall say, " Where are the roads for these machines? who can afford these? We want awesome performance from smaller machines".

Back to square one, eh? Not quite.

You launch a 1000 CC bike that looks like Eva Longoria on two wheels, with 100 BHp of raw power and 100KM/l mileage(Ok, 95, take it or leave it) and price it at Rs 50,000, I shall WORSHIP you and drink the water that washes your feet.

See, it's THAT simple.

------------------------------------

Rock on and ride safely. :D

Humans Being.

2007-04-15T03:18:00.000-07:00

Holla, mi Synnors and Synnoritas..

How'ye been? I'm fine, thank you.

Now, regular readers may be surprised. They may be wondering what made the synner become all civilized and stuff. Well, a couple of reasons.

Reason numero uno: Remember that forum that initially pissed the synner off royally, but then kinda grew on him? Well, the synner made an open offer to the admin of the forum to undertake moderation duties, and sure enough, he was offered a chance. Now moderation is a different kettle of fish, and the synner can't go off whooping ass like he wants to. And hence, this attempt at developing a semblance of accepted human behavior. Of course, there are certain trolls who aren't very happy with this development, and are trying their damnedest to ruffle the Synner's feathers. Well, guess what, blockheads? Synners don't have feathers, and thou shalt get thy asses whoopeth as and when it is needed. Until then, would you like a better seating arrangement, sir?

Reason Numero dos: This one's a bit more serious, and is the prime reason for this post. The other day, the synner got into a major argument with one of the closest people he's got. It turned out so bad, every bit of Sandeep was thrown out of the window, and the synner took over the reigns in true sarcastic fashion. Please note that the Synner has never used his most powerful weapon, sarcasm against the people close to him. This was the first time it ever happened. And it seems like he left a scar that's gonna take its sweet time healing. To cut a long story short, in the end, the person asked him one question: "What pleasure do you get by hurting people so hard"?

And that's when it dawned upon him. That thwarting egos over the interweb and attempting the same with the people we care about are two different things.

So that being said, here's the Synner's new resolution. From here on, you shall see a bit more of Sandeep than usual. Together, they promise to make an honest attempt to be more human than they ever were collectively. Ironically enough, the resolution corresponds with new year on the Synner's native calendar.

Of course, troll boys be on your toes. The above is applicable only to people we care about. :-D

The human male: A dying breed.

2007-04-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, the synner needs some help from all the synnors and synnoritas out there.

Can anyone please explain what is this fascination with the "bubblegum-pre-teen" theme that's gripping the male demographic as of late?

I mean, has anyone seen that crappy ass game where one has to bash the keys to make some really weird characters dance on the friggin' screen? Yeah, that's an actual game, and people are actually makin' money selling crap like that! Know what's more interesting? The more flashy ways you find to make the characters do handstands and thus, put their panties in the air, the more points you score!

These guys need to get laid. And fast.

If you ask me, the synner has never got the point of soft-porn. I mean, if you wanna listen to metal, you don't pop in a Linkin park CD. You catchin' my drift? Oh wait, these guys listen to that crap too. My mistake. At times, the synner has half the mind to catch hold of these sorry beings and give them a shot of testosterone. Maybe that'l help them to appreciate the Jenna Jamesons and the Caitilina Cruz's of this world, instead of tryin' their damnedest to make an animated character expose her panties..!

If anyone out there thinks that this is inhumane or impossible, or a combination of both, consider this: Last laundry day, one dude actually wrote "5 panties" in the column where he was supposed to fill in the number of underwear he was supposed to give for the wash. The synner spent the better part of 15 minutes trying to convince him that a guy does not use the word "panties" in a sentence, unless the sentence goes something like " i like to collect panties as a casual hobby" or somethin'.. Yeah, sick, i know, but loads better than calling your OWN underwear panties. And no, the synner didn't ask him if he wears actual panties. 'd rather stay ignorant, thank you.

Trust me on this folks, The only thing that gets the synner to make an animated character do handstands is Tekken 5. And those characters wear actual pants. And fight. He also prefers to drink beer instead of peach tea, does not own a set of cosmetics that Paris Hilton would be proud of (She can go to hell, BTW), does not know what acne cream is used for, and does not own a pink bath towel.

Metro sexuals can kiss my brown ass. Just a fancy name for people who throw a fit over anything and everything like a spoilt rich girl while working around the tight constraints of a man's budget.

So how about that testosterone shot, eh? Sounds real humane now, doesn't it?

Tribute, bitch:

2007-03-31T12:02:00.000-07:00

This one is a tribute to one of the biggest bitches on the interweb thingy, V from Violent Acres.

One hades of a prissy bitch, and an even bigger hades of a read.

Here are my suggestions for your catchphrase thingy:

- Bursting egos, one hit at a time.

- Canines take bitching lessons from me.

- Your self pity gives me orgasms.

- Payback's a bitch. Your credit card number, please.

That's all i got for now. Take it or leave it, bitch.

And yes, do keep writing. I hate Mommybloggers too.

Advertising 101: Synner style.

2007-03-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the synner sold out.

NO, not to "the man" (like some el-cheapos who put google ads in their blogs to earn a cent or 2), but to the temptations of advertising his blog thingy. Close friends know that when the synner started the blog business, he pushed the URL down their throats until they succumbed and read the darn thing. But hey, each and every one of is a regular reader now, so hey, it was all for the best, ain't it?

Anyhoo, the synner thinks it's high time that he takes it to the next level, coz in case you didn't know, HE LIKES SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION VERY MUCH..!

10 minutes of "hard labor" leads to this:

And guess what? The University of Synnerville is FLOODED with applications! My hit counter has tripled in the last 3 days with hits coming from places like ISRAEL! Yeah, that's right, the synner knows where you coming from, how long you were here, and where did you go from here.

**insert evil laugh here**

(He-man voice) "I have the power"....!!!

Relax.. The synner knows that with great power comes great responsibility. So fret not, wherever there's an ass to kick, Wherever there is a crime being done against the english language and common sense, the synner will be there to save the day...

**fluttering cape**

So in closing, lemme just say, dear synnors and synnoritas, keep reading the best blog in the world, and yes, beware and be aware of cheap imitations. Hehe...

Random news corner:

- Just like the synner predicted, The Doctor is back with a bang, and pretty much pwned the other morons who were foolish enough to stand up against him. Go rossy go!!!!!!! (sorry, couldn't resist that!)

-The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie has hit the big screen, and the synner can't wait to watch it. And for the last time, Leonardo > Michelangelo, be it Renaissance art or TMNT.

And, I got nothing.

***Fat lady singing***

Rock on and ride safely.

Random randomness:

2007-03-22T05:12:00.000-07:00

The often mentioned professor Tucker remarks that there is no such thing as random randomness. Regardless, here's synner havin a go at it:

Been a long time since the synner talked about his hostel and related stuff, no? Well, apart from a bunch of cowherds who somehow got sucked thru a time portal and got transported from the bihari heartlands to good ol' Singy (more on them later..), everything else has been pretty normal here....

Ah yes, the cowherds.. Oh boy..

Thanks to the fact that some universities here have six (yes, SIX) intakes per year, and that "educational consultants" back home have realized the massive potentials for "commissions", and most importantly, coz there is a lot of money sitting around doing nothing in many Indian wall safes, we have some pretty weird dudes reaching these shores pretty regularly. In fact, each with each intake, it gets worse. But none takes the cake quite like cowherd inc.

The moment the synner heard the oh-so-familiar "saraab mehnga hain kya?"( is the liquor expensive?, for my international synnors and synnoritas) i knew the hostel had just hit a new low.. And trust me, it did.. and how!

From the next day on, one would be right to say that the floors were covered with froth. Froth from the half open mouths of cowherd inc. From lookin at various specimens of the female kind in the hostel. Oh man... What's even more hilarious are the various "come-ons" they pathetically attempt with that mutant cousin of english they are endowed with.. Once i heard one of them say to a Jap girl(that he met that day) that she's "breakin his heart" coz she politely refused his "offer" to take her to a night club..! I kid you not! Hey wiseass, ever heard of a term called Stalking?

And stalking it was, no doubt, coz soon, the girls started sitting together as a group instead of scattering all over the hall. Coz, in spite of all their linguistic skills, none of the cowherds were blessed with the balls to approach a group...

Anyhoo, seems like cowherds moved out to an apartment or somethin.. Oh cowherds, we hardly knew ye.. gonna miss you.. NOT!

In other news, the synner tops the class in the previous module by gettin an awesome-errific score of 3 (highest being 1, lowest 20, any grade higher than 5 virtually unheard of). Proves once again that he's charming AND smart..! Beat that, suckas! :D

Hey, it's not like i didn't warn you before.. look at the synner's profile.. It clearly stated that he loves shameless self promotion A LOT..!

Moving on, the Iranian president is not happy with the film 300 and its portrayal of Persians of yore. So we have three hundred AND ONE angry persians. Meh.. next..!

Anybody who has not watched the twin terrors of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert in the Daily show and Colbert report respectively has not lived life. Period.

The 2007 F1 season has kicked off... Feels weird not seeing a certain German jumping on top of the podium with one hand stretched up. Miss ya shumi, do come back as a team principal soon. Heard that Red Bull has a LOT of money.. :D

As for Moto GP, that stoner kid got lucky. Expect the doctor to kick some ass in well documented style soon. Hayden, enjoy the perks of row 3, coz that's where you are gonna spend most of your time this season. And Pedrobot who?

Phew! There.. A steaming pile of absolute random randomness, courtesy the synner! Enjoy!

Rock on and ride safely.

Aftermath:

2007-03-15T03:02:00.000-07:00

Guess what?

The Synner, being the persistent life form that he is, re-registered at the same forums with the SAME user ID. And now he's enjoying every moment of it..! After spending some time actively participating in the discussions, he has come to notice that there does indeed exist a few level headed individuals in there.. And that even the trolls do offer something useful once in a while...

Another world crisis averted? well... :D

Rock on and ride safely.

Political correctness: in other words, hand your balls over at the door.

2007-03-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

So there is a certain Automobile magazine in India called OVERDRIVE. Pretty good stuff. They also happen to have a website which sucks monkeyballs. For one, the Magazine team treats it like a bastard child borne out of bad sex with a torn, 2 year old condom. They hardly ever integrate content, nor do they make an initiative to elevate the standards of the forum to that of the magazine. They just choose to let the inmates run the assylum. One of the most retarded, hyperactive one amongst them being assigned the paper title of moderator too.

Which is such a shame, coz the site deserves much, much more. Anyone who has ever read the magazine knows that it is as good as Indian automotive journalism gets. Naturally, it's only fair to assume the same standards to be carried over to the forums. But alas, it was not to be.

Well, the synner is(was ? ) a big fan of the magazine, so this looked kinda disturbing to him. So after spending months in ignore mode, he finally took the pains to create an ID and post the following piece of literature over there:

_____________________________________________________________

Some of you may recognize me from somewhere else, some may not. Those who know me knows that 'm a person who never has a problem speaking his mind, no matter how unpopular that opinion is. BUT, for long have i browsed these pages without actually posting anything. But no more. And here's why:

Has anybody ever watched say, Discovery channel all day and then switched on to cartoon network? Ever noticed the contrast in the aired programing? Utter nonsense replacing actual facts, total goofballs in place of prominent stalwarts etc.. etc..?

That's EXACTLY what i feel when i come here.

Here's a forum that's (supposedly) part of one of the best auto mags in India; and instead of the expected treasure chest of automotive factology, we have the inmates running the assylum!

Booya!

'm pretty sure the OD gang considers this little contraption as their very own "Comedy Central". If they were half way serious about this, we'd be seeing a lot more moderation and atleast, a better forum software than phpBB. Not to mention better interaction with the user group and better integration with the magazine.

Did i mention moderation? Oh yes, moderation! Apparently, the inmate in charge of moderation is a hyperactive individual, who apparently thinks that every post that he makes should contain atleast 1/3rd of Webster's Thesaurus in it, even if the posts defy common grammar and common sense most of the time! I mean no offense mate, from what i see, you're a pretty nice person and all, but face it; your prose ain't cuttin it. That post that you had written about OD not publishing your article or something was something Woodworth would have been proud of. A surefire lesson in comedy. Take it to a highschool English teacher and you will know why.

Then there are the quintessential fan boys. The most prominent one being the HH fanatic himself. Oh yes, you know who 'm talking 'bout.. It's kinda funny how this one dude can wreck so much havoc in this community of a few dozens. Please, i beg you all. Go Wiki up the term "Internet Troll" to have an inkling of an idea of how to deal with the likes of him. The rest of you fan boys, enjoy your ignorance. It's a bliss.

So, in closing, here are my 2 cents(singapore) on this situation:

Face it; nobody makes a bad motorcycle these days( unless of course, you torture your grey cells to recollect the horror that is the Kinetic Stryker). Pulsars are not infallible, neither are Karizmas. HH over price and relies on brand value a bit too much, but some of the best and most reliable machines in any given segments still come out of Gurgaon. Bajaj sometimes focusses a bit too much on innovation that they lose direction in other key areas. But, they are learning. How many of you will believe that the P180 UG3 sold here has better fit and finish than a Yamaha Fazer 250? This coming from a Yamaha fan for life, no less!

Ah, Yamaha. Love Yamaha, Hate their Indian operations. But please do buy an occasional crux or 2; coz the big bikes are coming. The kick in the oriental nuts have been received well and truly, and the tuning forks will head to the sub continent sooner than you think. Keep the faith.

Which holds true for suzie, kwacker and the big H too... Mark my words, the moment one of them launches an SBK, the rest of 'm are gonna call up their shipping assets in Japan in a flash. What we have here is a mexican stand off, and sooner, rather than later, someone is gonna get trigger happy.

Thats it for now. Thanks for reading, and please send boquets/brickbats(oh i know, quite a few are coming my way) to sandblaster@mschumacher.com (yep, that's a real Mail ID. Honest!).

Or you can post 'em right here. Makes no difference to me.

cheers, and do post sensibly.

The Synner.

_____________________________________________________________

Guess what transpired?

Within hours of posting, the thread was taken down, and the ID was deleted. And not even hate mail! It was as if they wanted to cover up the fact that the synner existed (albeit briefly) on those pages!

Which brings us to the issue at hand. People nowadays are devoid of Cajones, or balls as they call in good ol' blightey. All they wanna do is be as politically correct as they can be, kiss they hairy asses who can do them short term favors, pretend that all's well, act as if they are all important, and close their eyes to reality.

Fuck that.

Coz the Synner don't bend that way, Jose. The emperor has no fucking clothes, and I ain't ashamed to shout it from the rooftops.

Coz i got balls.

Rock on and ride safely.

The "starving millions" and my dream superbike.

2007-03-07T02:44:00.000-08:00

Since time immemorial, whenever someone talks about India, its people, and the progress that the economy is making, the first phrase that gets thrown around is that of the "starving millions" of the nation and how we should strive to make their living better. Well the synner has had enough of this crap, so here's his 2 cents(Singapore) on the situation. And how this relates to his dream superbike.

For starters, i couldn't care less about the proverbial "starving millions". They are only interested in making more of their kind. No matter the page 3 celebrities and their "humanitarian gestures"(another debate for another day in another arena), not one of them cares about raising their own living standards. And as someone said, no one can help you if you can't help yourself.

These "starving millions" actually make me real PO'd at times. They contribute zilch to the country in terms of productivity, GDP or intellectual property. They whine at every outing they get about how unfair they are treated when in reality, they are quite content in living in their filth and making babies day in and day out. Hell, i have seen beggars escaping from charity homes(where they get 3 full meals, thanks to some big hearted individuals) to go back to the streets coz they feel more comfortable begging for a living! i mean WTF?

You know what's worse? These useless mongrels send the biggest dinosaurs amogst themselves to the parliament to rule over the rest of us unfortunate souls, and subsequently, because of the sheer numbers that these dimwits possess, our country is trapped in a vicious cycle of vote bank politics. You know the deal, Stegosaurus Yadav or Tyranosaurus Patel catering to their own votebank, while the big friggin nation as a whole is by and large, ignored.

Which would still have been acceptable had it not been the fact that the "starving millions" still remain just that, and are quite content attending a public addressing by the afore mentioned dinos, get a free complimentary saree, go to the friggin vote booth, press the button they were instructed to and make more babies.

Yeah, sure, i will care about them. NOT!

And how do SBKs fit into all this? Oh yeah, the aforementioned Dinos are busy fighting with each other, they conveniently forget that they have a nation to run here. The fact of the matter is, most of us hard working individuals in the subcontinent have the resources to make better living standards for ourselves(all hail the private sector for this), but thanks to Dino Inc. we are blocked from doing so at every step...

Who's head is gonna roll if i get an R6 for myself? What is so ethically, morally and ideologically wrong about importing SBKs when Cigarettes, Guthka and cheap liquor are sold a dime a dozen in the country? oh, and lest we forget, take a shot in the dark about who are the biggest consumers of THOSE? Yeah, you guessed it right; the afore mentioned "starving millions"!!

Yeah, sure, I'l strive to make a better life for them. NOT!

And assuming that i put patriotism up as the top priority, stay in the country, pay twice as much as i deserve to, (oh and by the way, the additional currency, goes into making Dino Inc. a few tonnes heavier; not feeding the "starving millions".) and become one of the select few to own an SBK in the country, in all probability, within a few weeks, I'l find the latest entity in the never ending lineage of the "starving millions", carving his signature into the clear coated plastic fairing of my baby...

Yeah, sure, I'l smile and appreciate the creativity. NOT!

In closing, No. I do not want to own an SBK in india. Dont get me wrong, i love my country and there are many roads here that i have dreamed of riding an SBK on, but they'l remain just that. A dream. Whatever chance i get to make a living in a developed economy, I'l take it. No regrets. I WILL own and ride an SBK there without worrying about Dino Inc. and their pre-historic "visions" for the country(sic).

The starving millions can go to H-E-double hockey sticks.

A little lesson in music appreciation

2007-02-27T06:39:00.000-08:00

Well...

The other day, while traversing through this interweb thingy, the synner came across an awesome piece of info. Iron Maiden is gonna perform in India. IRON FUCKIN MAIDEN!

Do i hear a, *gasp* Iron who?

Tell any self respecting Rock/Metal fan "power metal" and the first words that come into his mind are Iron Maiden. Along with a beastoid creature called Eddie in various guises. Yes, this iconic British Metal band and their unique mascot have etched a unique place in the hearts of each and every metal fan for ever.

Which is why the synner, to use an internet friendly term, ROTFLed like hell when he read something else. You see, there s this forum thingy that the synner frequents every now and then. And this bit of news was psted there too by some kind soul. Amidst all the expected replies, The synner came across a unique one. Here's the summary:

This dude claims that he has been a Maiden fan since college days(sic), and is asking something that the synner has never heard before. to quote him, "Is it worth paying so much to go to a concert where one can't even sit? all i can do there is stand and look at the stage base. can't even see the band properly. Isn't it wiser to listen to the at home and save the money"?

er......

Are u FUCKIN KIDDIN ME?

Listen up, oh un-enlightened one. You sit on fat ass leather chairs, listen and nod your head approvingly at a gay-ass Michael Bolton concert, not at a metal one!

If you are lucky enough to grace a metal concert with your presence(sic), you stand, jump and headbang till your friggin neck breaks off! You catch the stage divers, pass them around, and move them back to the stage! And if ever a microphone is thrust into your friggin mouth, gather up the lyrics, and scream your lungs out! It doesn't matter if the PA system is 50 thou watts, you still scream your lungs out! But please, for the love of all things cool, please don't ever sit your ass down.

For all you know, Eddie may drop in and bite your head off! :D

Eddie:

Ain't he cool?

Rock on and ride safely.

One of a kind.

2007-02-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

Once in a while, we all come across someone we admire. Some one who makes us realize that all the bitching and moaning about "how badly our lives suck" is completely pointless. Someone like Cynthia.

Cynthia. A 28 year old Filipino woman who works as a maid here in Singapore. A mother of three lovely kids who haven't seen their mother in ages. Divorcee. Here in "promised land", looking to make a better living for her kids back home. and now sadly, realizing that the pay she is earning is barely enough to sustain herself here...

But, NOT resigning to the fact. Lemme tell you something. Of the 4 days that the synner talked to her, Cynthia never ever dropped that trademark smile off her face. Never did it waver as she unfolded the story of her life. Not when she described her failed marriage, the multiple times she had lost love.. Not even when she talked about her kids. This truly amazing and touching story of survival was immediately followed by her plans of going back home, and coming back to find a better paying job.

There is no accolade too big for her. The woman is a fortress that seemingly nothing can bring down. Seemingly.

Yes, she lost it. Once. When she called a former love(who can't be with her, coz his family doesn't consider her daughter-in-law material) just before she left for the airport. Just, for a few moments, all those emotions she kept locked up came bursting out. And just like that, she was back to her smiling self.....

Here's to you, Cynthia. Here's hoping that you get a great job with which you can support your family. Here's wishing you all the luck in finding the love that you so deserve, yet denied many times over. Glad to have met you. Glad to be a friend.

And oh, Now that you're home, here's hoping that you give the kids the time of their lives. :-)

Cheers.

Divine? Not quite..

2007-02-07T04:40:00.000-08:00

Here's a situation the synner encounters often:

Synner eating beef. Random guy comes along....

Random guy: "watcha eating"? (Any damn moron knows it is beef. Yet, the synner answers)

Synner: "Beef".

*dramatic pause* in some cases, add a *deep breath* to that.

Rg: "isn't that.... divine"?

S: "yeah".. *chew* *chew* "may be. so"?

*insert confused, clueless random guy here*

Newsflash, moron, Beef, more often than not, is BUFFALO meat. Not cow. And even if it is cow, so what?

The problem with the mis-interpretation of faith throughout the ages is that people have been taking all wise teachings for their LITERAL meaning. Not the figurative and philosophical meanings the were originally supposed to spread.

Now, the synner is no historian, nor does he have a Ph.D in scriptures, but thru his two and a half decade of existance on planet earth, he has gathered that the general idea is to pray to GOD. Not to find excuses to find divinity in various forms of lithography, metallurgy and biology. And sure as hell, he doesn't need some self-annoited know-it-all telling him HOW to pray to god.

So, here's a thought, random clueless guy, take some time off worshipping bedrock, animals and their excreta, and pray directly to GOD HIMSELF. That worked just fine for the synner. Who knows, it may work out for you too. And do something constructive while you're at it. The world has far more serious problems than dead livestock on a dinner table.

...and, beef tastes mighty good.

Globalisation sucks.

2007-02-04T01:03:00.000-08:00

But, not for the obvious reasons.

When the synner was about ye bit tall, vacations were a fun time. Hell, practically every day was fun time. Know why, coz whenever there was any sort of free time at hand, us cousins will all get together and have one hell of a good time. And there were quite a few of us too. Each better than the other in raising hell..!

Well, in a previous post, the synner had mentioned about one cousin. The childhood friend/nemesis. This post is about my favorite most cousin of all time. And why globalisation sucks. over to Sandeep then.

Bindu, or bindachi as i call her, is 12 years older than me. She was also my best pal all throughout my childhood. She's the one who taught me how to play carroms, how to play chess, and a gazzillion other cool things. When i was 3 or 4, i was real stubborn when it came to eating lunch, and she was the one who tricked me into eating it every time by saying that spiderman eats the same food i did! Of course, me being the die hard spider man mark, gobbled it up, both literally and figuratively. If i remember correctly, big handful of rice for me, small handful for spidey!

She also shared a good rapport with my dad and mom(may her soul rest in peace), and had saved my hide on many an occasion when they didn't classify the hell raising as "cute stuff". Of course, it helped that we lived next door to each other.

What made her special was the way could relate to a kid 12 years her junior. She watched the same cartoon shows i did, read the same comics i read, laughed at the same jokes i did. Of course, we fought. a lot. But sooner or later, one of us forgot about it and that was it! Coz it was just not worth it to sulk away, when we could be havin a ton of fun instead. I still get chuckles when i think of all those times we went to the temple with her in a half-saree and teeny little me tagging along on the side like a body guard, all the while discussing how He-Man can defeat Skeletor at 9AM next sunday....

Like most girls, she got married off in her early 20s, and apart from her own family, I must probably be the one who missed having her around. But, she was still in the country, so it's not like we didn't get to see at all. But, it was just not the same. Anyways, as time went by, she mothered two of the cutest kids ever, and to my joy, returned to live in my home town. We were not exactly hell-raising buddies anymore, but it was still fun. And, i kinda adapted myself to a buddy role with her kids. Same role she had with me during my childhood. Life comes to a full circle? not quite.

One day, abruptly, came the news of she and her family moving abroad. And move abroad they did. And there i was, losing one of my best buds for the second time. Along with 2 tiny little buddies. Well, we still keep in touch thru e-mail, and she did come to visit us just before i moved here, but saying that i miss the good old days would be an understatement. Cliche'd, but true nonetheless.....

Which brings us to the globalisation thingy. Yeah, the world has opened up. And there are lotsa options around now to make a good livelihood for one and their family. Which is why the synner and his aforementioned cousins are scattered over 4 countries in 3 continents. Even the ones back in the home country are in a 100 different places. Which is kinda why we all haven't seen everyone together in god-knows-how-many years. And, at this rate, we probably will never.

Globalisation sucks. Yeah, the money is great, but i want my life back.

Rock on and ride safely.

Whatever happened to good ol' headbanging?

2007-01-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

OK, this post is a result of a discussion between the synner and a friend on the state of rock music nowadays. It really made us think about where it was and where it is now. here goes:

When the synner started to listen to rock music, there were several factors that appealed to him. The surreal guitar solos. the pounding drums(not the synthesized crap. actual leather/steel stuff). The amazing vocal range exhibited by artists like Jon Bon Jovi or Axl Rose or Sebastian Bach. The subtle bass riffs that added depth to the sound. many factors. Of course, stuff like the big hair, the leather n glitter costumes and the outrageous stage antics, they all counted. But the prime focus always remained on the music. there was nothing like it. period. There was a song for practically every situation in life. eg:

Breakup blues? try Bon Jovi: you give love a bad name or Eagles: Get over it.

General feeling down? Van halen: Jump.

Indecisiveness? Van Halen again with: Right now.

Too much energy at disposal? Twisted sister: Bang your head.

Get the drift? In case any one of my faithful synnors n synnoritas have a particular mood that they are hard pressed to find a song about, drop in a comment, and the synner will be only happy to suggest one for you.

Anyways, moving on; a short lesson in history:

The sheer variety of the songs was something no other Genre could provide. Add to it the characteristic styles that certain bands like the scorpions or Bon Jovi posess that make it easy to recognize their music after listening to only a small bit of it. Just.. amazing. People couldn't get enough of it, and the uprise of the sub genre of hair metal, popularity was through the roof. But still, keep in mind, the music came first. You see, the kids of that day and age, although just as impressionable as kids nowadays, knew that no matter how cool the music was, walkin around in tight leather pants and sequenced jackets was pretty dumb, not to mention highly inconvenient. That is, unless, you belonged to a biker gang. Then again, they probably walked around that way anyways. Music be damned. There were indeed a few others that walked around looking like rock stars without the additional props that are motorcycles, but that was coz they were budding rockstars who had some music in their blood(read- not posers).

Alas, good things seldom last long. All this changed with a certain moment in history. A triad from Seattle, who played their brand of music in a style that was unique to that geographical location, made it big time. Yep, 'm indeed talking about Nirvana. And the rise of grunge. The sudden uprise this alternative style of music caught hair metal off-guard. Here's why: Here was a band who abandoned the leather/spandex approach to their vocational clothing and promoted wearing faded jeans and flannels. The average teen must have thought, hey! that's the kinda cloths I AM wearing! mebbe i should listen to that music too! Don't mind the fact that apparently none of them understood the meanings of half the songs, as long as it was "cool", it was a must-listen.

OK, here are a few misconceptions about Grunge, especially about Nirvana that the Synner would like to clarify. While he recognizes that Nirvana fans are a touchy lot and cannot take any kind of negative remarks about "king" Cobain, these are not opinions, but facts, and anyone who is competitive at using the interweb thingy can verify the facts for themselves.

1) Nirvana did NOT invent grunge. Sorry kids, but the grunge style of music was around even when Cobain was in middle school, doodling in his notebooks waiting for the class to get over. 3 of the "Big four" that made the Seattle grunge scene famous, i.e. Alice in Chains, Soundgarden and Pearl Jam, were formed at least a few years before Nirvana came about. Granted, Alice in chains Started out as a Glam rock band, but all of them were established Grunge names in Seattle by the mid 80s, and Nirvana came about only by the late 80s.

2) "King" Cobain did not start the jeans 'n flannel trend. Again, The fact that Nirvana gained mainstream popularity in the midst of leather and spandex bands makes people think that Nirvana were the first non-conformists. well, not so. Google for a glam rock band called Tesla, and you can see that they were the original non conformists, startin way back in 1982.

3) OK. this one is gonna hit the hardest. Cobain was NOT a master lyricist. A master lyricist is someone who can write songs about a variety of situations and make them all, well, most of them sound good. make people feel good by singing along. Distorted guitar riffs are to be used to accentuate the beauty of the lyrics. Not cover up the lack of cohesiveness in them. Case in point? Smells like teen spirit. Anyone who takes a close look at the lyrics of this "youth anthem" can understand that it makes no sense. If it does to you, please do tell me. The synner understands that there are a lot of songs that sound great without killer lyrics. But then again, none of those songwriters were proclaimed by their fans as "lyrics maestros".

End of the day, Cobain and his little outfit was a good band. no question. They made some good music. No arguments. But are they the best EVER? Not quite. 3 albums(+1 posthumous) is hardly enough to proclaim a band as one of the best ever. Who knows? if Cobain decided to skip his bullet-breakfast and live to make another 10 albums, i may have written a different post here. On a side note, do listen to pearl jam to see a different side of grunge, with soulful lyrics, and fuller guitar riffs.

Anyhoo, all things considered, grunge brought in a change in the way media portrays musicians. Paying more attention to the cloths they wear than the music they produced. Which is a shame, as the trend carried over to the hip-hop generation of the present day and age, and is bordering on the unbearable as of the moment.

Ah, the hip hop generation. The current day "generation X" who considers writing a whole sentence in properly structured english a heinous crime! So is properly fitting pants and T-shirts of the right size, according to them. Sad, just.. sad. Rappers of the 80's concentrated more on writing meaningful lyrics. Rappers now are pondering over how many "mmm. yeah, u-huh"s to add to the next song. Or how hideously outrageous their next set of bling jewelery has to be for people to ignore the sheer lack of talent and give them another 15 seconds of undeserved fame. sad. just.. sad.

Know what's sadder?

Nu metal. Yep. If i could go back in time and prevent the birth of the "clever" dude who apparently thought that mixing rap and heavy guitar riffs is a good idea, I'd be doing humanity a huge favor. Lemme put it this way. Nu metal is the polar opposite of everything that made rock/metal popular to fans like your's truly. The amazing vocals, the precise guitar riffs, the subtle, yet supple bass riffs, they were all gone. Replaced with mindless screams, 3 chords at max for the "lead" guitar, lots of assorted synthesized crappola and lest i forget, the de-facto"mmm. yeah, u-huh"s. Which is fine. Until the same old problem occurs. Bands like limpin pork and limp dick-it being proclaimed as rock n roll pioneers. If only the guitarists could cut solo to save their life, the synner would have given a thumb-in-the middle. Well, gotta give it to Wes Borland. He sorta could. Therefore, he also understood that being associated with the single most irritating douchebag in the world, mr.Durst, is highly detrimental to his career and moved on. +1 to borland. Then, senor Borland makes me take that point back by e-catfighting with senor Durst like a schoolgirl..... Oh well...

...Back to the point, Nu metal also cursed the world with the most useless brand of poser kids. The ones that wear random band T-shirts(even though they can't name even one of the band members, let alone albums), attend concerts(with random hot bimbo in tow) and F'n RAVE in front of the stage! U see kids, the synner belongs to the school of rock fans who head bang for the anthems and wave a zippo for the ballads. Not F'n rave like a trance nut.

So, these days, when the synner hears about the latest modern (pseudo)rock band coming to the nearest city, he looks out of the window, sees poser kids and their bimbo sidekicks rush to the concert hall (BTW, these kids won't even believe that old school bands used to sell out STADIUMS), breathe a sigh, pop in a hair metal CD, and write a column about how he misses good ol' headbanging.

Rock on and ride safely.

One night in chinatown.

2007-01-18T02:24:00.000-08:00

Howdy doo, my beloved synnors and synnoritas?

Well, yesterday was a fun day.. Fun, coz they synner proved that one doesn't need to be in a desert to get horribly lost. Be clueless enough, one can do the same in a modern city with properly marked signboards! Ok, here's how it all went:

It all started when the synner and his friend got seriously bored of sitting on their asses for days. It's been raining cats, dogs and vermin in singy for the past god-knows-how-many days. As a result, no outdoor activities whatsoever! Yesterday was the only day when the sun decided to show his face, and we decided to make the most of it. Armed with a newly acquired sony digicam, we set out on a sight-seeing trip.

The trip itinerary was screwed up from the start, when the aforementioned friend delayed things by about 3 hours. no kiddin! We reached Marina square by around 7.15, which was we made the first blunder. to go and see what the big deal was about the war memorial thingy, which was within walking distance.

The uninitiated may think, what's the big deal about it? one can always make a round trip and go back to where we started, right? wrong! The thing is, 90% of the roads around here are one-ways, and just because we can see the other side of the street doesn't mean that we can cross it. That is, unless we risk being steamrolled by an SMRT bus or worse, being handed a $20 fine. :D

Anyways, The war memorial thingy was seen, and then began the began the substantial task of finding a way back to our original destination. The Opera house. Well, there's a hell lot of construction happening around here, so that meant walkways that used to be there yesterday may not be present today. An hour later, here we were, opposite the Opera house.

Here it is, at 1/3rd's its full glory, as it was a weekday, and the only people who will notice the pretty lights are high above in airplanes. Fortunately, this time, there WAS a walkway, and off we were to Marina.

Here we are, at the walkway, and thanks to the marvels of night vision photography, there you see the beautiful walkway and the beautiful cityscape behind it. All credits to photography goes to the synner, of course! :D

There's another shot at the beautiful cityscape, photo by the friend with the synner in the foreground.

In case the synner was hard to spot in the previous pic, here's another shot with him pondering over how the hell he's gonna get back to the hostel.! (buses stop commuting at 12, you see).

The next one hour was spent fooling around in the always-awesome Marina area, and here are some pics of that.

That's the famous mer-lion of Singapore that you see in glossy mags and brochures. Very cool place to sit and chillax...

And that's one freakin' expensive place to live and dine in. Looks gr8 though..

Now that we had seen all we had to see, the synner and his friend initiated the next step. The quest for cheap beer! :D You see, my faithful synnoids, Marina bay is a mucho expensivo area to buy anything. So off we were to the one place that is guaranteed to sell cheap stuff. China town.

Again, most of the exploration was based on guess work, but we somehow ended up in chinatown. Albeit, a part of chinatown we had never ever seen. A part with like 150 night clubs one after the other! Trust me, one needs a sunglass to withstand the neon assault that was ambient to this area.

Sleeze all around babay! :D

Tempting, the night clubs were, but we, being the cheapskates we are, were determined to find the cheapest beer possible. Fortune of fortunes, we found a 7-eleven store in the midst of all the sleeze. Horror of horrors, the clerk at the store was the friend's cousin, who's as orthodox as orthodox can be! No problem, the synner just walked in calmly and grabbed 2 cans of Haagen, paid up, made some small talk, and walked out. :D

Dunno what's it about Haagen, but it kinda acts like an energy drink, if u know what i mean. Gone were the pangs in the calves, in came a new found energy to explore and discover! (methinks Magellan and his likes were corporate-sponsored by Haagen).

Anyhoo, off we went to find a new path to the city from chinatown. We might have as well set forth to Malaysia. coz lost, would be an understatement! the bright lights disappeared in quick succession, and when we came to a lonely road where the crickets were the loudest things around, we knew we were screwed. The only saving grace of this "minor" detour was spotting this:

The Suzuki TL 1000R. The synner always dug this pathbreaking V-Twin from Suzie that was suposed to out-duc Ducati. Sadly, the dumbass-y rear damper sealed it's fate in 3 years. Anyways, to get back on track(pardon the irony), we retraced our steps(or so we thought). On the way, we took a pic of this:

Can you believe that? PEOPLE waiting for a green light to cross the road! We don't see too much of that in India, do we? :D

Another hour of roamin around with the de-facto male chauvinism of refusing to ask directions, we finally decided to throw the towel in. raised thumb, stopped taxi, 35% extra charge for late night service, and here we are, back at the hostel..

Rest assured, we will set sail once again on this very same trip. and once again, no asking directions.. what if we get lost again? for all we know, we may find another street full of sleezy night clubs! :D

Rock on and ride safely.

Streetfighters.

2007-01-16T02:26:00.000-08:00

Here's a quickie. Just a piece of journalistic elegance( :D) that the synner put up elsewhere. Apparently, people liked it, so he decided to blog it. It's about a class of superbikes unofficially called streetfighters. Here goes:

There is a new category of riders that are emerging all over the developed world. These bikers want extremely potent, powerful machines, machines which can hold their own against the litre class hypers, but yet, are not interested in buying the fully faired machines. There are a number of factors for this:

-Comfort: The supersport and litreclass machines that are on sale these days are almost exclusively focussed on track performance. This is because manufacutrers have realized that since their machines are too powerful to be used to their full potential on the roads, why note go the whole hog, and offer race-oriented riding postures and powerbands? plus, it means less things to change for WSBK homologations. The result is that, the 600's and 1000's of today are much more physically demanding to ride than, say, a 929 'Blade or a 9R. plus, they are increadibly peaky in their power delivery and barely come alive(by SBK standards) under 10K RPM.

-Insurance: Fully faired sportbikes are horribly expensive to insure, and in some cases, more expensive than small cars. I am, of course, talking of the developed economies here.

-TLC: while it is true that we have left the days of sunday-tinkering in the history archives, full on sport bikes still require a lot of attention from the owners. The tyres, by virtue of being the stickiest, wear out faster than those of nakedbikes, and the suspension etc. need to be set with utmost care to deliver the desired performance. Also, replacind crashed fibre parts is cumbersome, let alone removing 10 screws to change engine oil.

This is where the class in question comes in. The streetfighters. now, these machines are mostly bikini faired, but miles away from machines such as the Ducati monster or the Suzuki SV series, as far as performance is concerned. They have slightly detuned, full on SBK engines and develop upwards of 140 PS, thus making them serious machines with serious performance. The category started with bikes like the original YAMAHA Fizzer, which put in the Thunderace engine in a double downtube cradle frame(yeah, like the ones on indian bikes), conventional forks, and generally, one-step-down parts. apparently, the formula clicked. several other machines came out with similar specs. the idea was simple. take a litre class hyperbike motor, put me in a lower-spec chassis with lower spec parts, (making sure the handling doesn't suffer too much coz of this), add comfort bits like higher handles, comfier seats, lower pegs, acentrestand etc, and sell at a lower price.

Notable machines of the first wave of streetfighers include the YAMAHA FZ1(Fazer, inline 4), SUZUKI TL 1000 S(V TWIN), The original Aprilia Tuono/Falco (V Twin). The honda Firestorm, although using the RC 51 motor, was more of a tourer.

Soon to be followed by machines like the KAWASAKI Z1000/750(inline 4), the uprated Aprilia Tuono (the Falco was dropped coz of poor sales and cannibalisation of sales), the infamous Triumph Speed Triple/Four( Inline triple/four), the Ducati Monster S4(sorta, not yet there. V twin) etc.

The next major change came , when The Italians embraced the concept completely. The new trend, suddenly was to develop an SBK and its streetfighter brother simultaniously. Thus, the world became blessed with machines like the Benelli TnT(inline triple), the leaner, meaner Aprilia Tuono, The goddamn gorgeous MV Brutale, Moto Morini Corsaro etc.. Gone were the cliches associated with the streetfighter class. Downtube frames made it to the scrap yard, in came die cast alloys ones. lighter wheels, USD forks digital instrumentation... what not. What DID NOT change was the basic features that made the street fighters so popular. Comfy ergonomics and slightly lesser sticker price(of course, it helped that the litre bikes became that much more expensive over the years).

Currently, the streetfighters, by virtue of having potent, yet usable power, are THE hooligan bikes. THeir better low end torque and slightly more rearward weight bias makes them wheelie mongers, and are more affordable to repair in case of crashes.

Of course, in additional to the Italian exotics mentioned above, mainstream manufacturers have also upgraded their streetfighters with better equipment. The class of 2007 includes:

The new YAMAHA FZ1 with weird exhausts and gorgeous everything-else, the boring as hell HONDA CBF 1000, the wilder than ever Triumph speed triple, the KTM superduke that regularly embarrasses more mainstream competition, the just-revamped Z1000 with that psycho of an engine from the 10R etc, that can give a litre class hyper a run for its money on city streets and the twisties.

Well, that's just about it.

Rock on and ride safely.

Back to school.. or somethin like that....

2007-01-08T03:06:00.000-08:00

Holla!!!

So, after 5 weeks of sleepin during daytime and doin some research when he gets bored of it, the synner was back in a classroom today. Sure, it was kinda hard to adjust to the not-sleeping-at-10AM schedule, but one look at Mr. Tucker's sneering face, and i guarantee ya, u'r gonna be insomniac for the rest of ur stay in the classroom!

Well, as usual, the class was super interesting, and the synner took faux-pride in the fact that he was pretty much the only one who handed in ALL the due assignments. 2 week extension for the rest of the class, as Mr. Tucker was in a strangely jovial mood. well, stranger things have happened... Like, u know, a certain Lance Bass comin out of the closet. Now really, whodathunkit? GAY? A member of a boyband singin crappy ass teenie bop love songs? well... ugh, bad example... But u get the point, right?

Talkin 'bout strange happenings, it seems like the synner's little blog mebbe more popular than he originally imagined. My faithful synnoids may recollect the synner talkin 'bout a 200 pound, miniskirted nightmare in a previous entry. Just so you know, ever since that entry was published, the said entity has dropped all mini skirting habits, and have reverted to clothing more suited for her zeppelin-esque physique. Now, what could have prompted her to take such a drastic step? What-could-have? could it be? nooo...! well, maybe.. you know, the synner is pretty modest about his accomplishments, so he will leave this open for speculations..

Here's something that the synner will never understand. Why do girls go to bathrooms in a group? I mean, is there some sort of extremely difficult task to be performed in there which cannot be handled by one person? I dunno... explanations are welcome from one and all.

Here's another. When a guy is pissed off at u, he says that he is pissed off at u coz of so and so reason. But, when a girl is pissed off, it's more like, if you don't know why i am pissed off at u, u have no right to know why i am pissed off at you. What gives?

Now here are some things about guys that girls may never understand. A word of warning to the unassuming synnettes reading this. Most of it is not pretty, as we guys are still a bunch of barbarians deep inside. But, if you still wanna get freaked out of ur high heel-eds, by all means, read on.

The first thing that a guy does on waking up is deliver a 4-note fart. period. I mean, there are 4 of us in the synner's room, and every morning bears witness to a symphony (cacophony ?) of C sharps, F "not-so-sharp"s, A minors, D "damn-right-that-was-major"s, and every other musical note ever invented. I dunno. I guess us males are programmed this way.

On the note of farting (no pun intended, of course), lemme walk you synnettes thru the whole waking-up procedure of a male homo sapien:

- Wake up after the alarm rings for the 4 th time.
- The afore mentioned 4-note fart.
- Yawn.
- Scratch of balls.
- Scratch of ass.
- Yawn again.
- Off to do the usual morning stuff.

If ANY guy denies ANY of the items mentioned in the above list, the synner will show you a liar. Keep in mind, these steps hold true for guys young or old, of any nationality/ethnicity, good lookin or butt ugly... the whole lot.

Now that the synner has successfully made all synnettes (who managed to hang on till here) cringe and look at their boyfriend/brother/even male classmates in a different light (wives are exempted, coz they probably know from the 3rd day of marriage that their husbands act this way), he shall bid adieu for the while. Fret not, the synner shall be back with more synnerisms as soon as he can.

rock on, and ride safely.

Been there, drunk that, so what?

2007-01-01T01:06:00.000-08:00

Happy hangover day!

er, i mean.. happy new year!!! It's that day on the calender, when everyone makes resolutions they have no intention of keeping, the most popular one being, "gawwd, this freakin' headache! 'm so never gonna drink again!" And, in 2 weeks, u promptly forget it and go get wasted once more.

Not that there is anything wrong in getting wasted the proper way though. There is something mysterious about how the earth resetting its orbit, that makes mankind crave for alcohol, methinks. The synner has had his fair share of hangover days, but, as mentioned in the birthday post, due to promises made earlier, the synner's permitted alocohol level was waaaay below his acceptable alcohol levels. yet, the synner had one hell of a time. In a good and bad way. Probably coz it's so much more fun watchin other ppl get drunk than getting drunk ourselves! Anyways, here is the full account:

First of all, the dude who had a camera bailed. Hence, no pics. Sadly. Which is a real pity, as the fireworks ruled big time. The synner really wanted to share some pics with his faithful synnoids, but guess you all will hafta google for 'em.. :(

Then, the synner bore witness to how a few unwanted elements of a community can bring shame to the community as a whole. Oh, he is talkin 'bout the huge number of unskilled workers from India who put barbarians to shame with the way the celebrated new year yesterday. Damn idiots were everywhere, groping everything that looked remotely female, drinking like there's no tomorrow, shouting out obscenities like anything... well, u get the picture.. The situation was so bad, that a lady cop and her newby sidekick asked the poor, unassuming synner and his friend for IDs, jus coz we looked like those assclowns. No sweat, as 2 minutes of talking proved to them that we two were cultured human beings, who posed as much threat to civilized society as the Darth Vader action figure in the gift shop next to us. Zilch. Well, routine checking turned into friendly banter, and the cop recommended that we head to a more enjoyable place like Marina Bay to enjoy a civilized new year. While we were contemplating on that, a couple of these assclowns were moronic enough to pull their crap in front of the freakin parliament building! no kiddin! lemme put it this way: Big trouble in little singy.. Happy freakin new year, ass clowns... hope the cops burn your employment passes, fine you all a year's worth of wages, put ur asses in the pen for 6 months of hard time, then wish you "good riddance" and offer a one way ticket to India in the crappiest mode of transport available.

While cops were discussing on just how badly to screw them (imagine doin the same in front of the Indian parliament, and you will get the picture), the synner and his friend said adios to Orchard Road and set sail for Marina. Again, on the way there, The synner saw something that made him cringe. Feel ashamed deep inside that he belonged to the same country that mothered these low lifes. The sight of an angry, yet helpless father yelling at a couple of these idiots for groping his pre-teen daughter. The sight of the devil-may-care attitude on the faces of the morons. The sight of a young couple standing next to them, lookin scared at the synner and his friend, thinkin that we may be the next to initiate the de-facto groping process. That my synnoids, ruined the freakin new year for the synner. As he walked by, feeling really small, he passed a glance over to the little cafeteria by the side, where a few Europians were enjoying a dignified dinner, and finishing it off with the same beer that the morons were drinking. He couldn't help but wonder how people, with similar DNA, drinking the same beer, could act so differently.

Fortunately, the day wasn't ruined beyond repair. As the synner was walkin towards Marina, he saw the breathtaking display of fireworks up in the sky. granted, the morons, who, like cockroaches, were everywhere, were whistling at that too. But it didn't freakin matter. At that moment, every single person standing in that square were seeing something beautiful. celebrating something beautiful. drunk morons be damned.

Walkin ahead, as the synner and his friend were exchanging "happy new year"s with random people on the streets, we came across a young British couple. Pleasant greetings were exchanged, and a friendship was born. It helped that all 4 of us were involved in the media industry. The usual stuff were discussed: beer, cricket, football, the likes. At this point, the British couple ran out of beer, and the synner did the unthinkable: offer a can from his backpack! A can of Haagen, no less! My faithfull synnoids may remember that the synner considers Haagen as the best beer in the world. And the synner sharing beer with someone has has less likelihood of happening than George Dubya tellin the truth for once! Nonetheless, the synner felt that this was the right thing to do. One hour later, as we all parted ways with handshakes, a little voice inside the synner told him that he had reclaimed some of the dignity his country had lost earlier.

The synner jus remembered that he never mentioned a word about the best part of the evening. girls! that is, just plain old mouth-gazin instead of the groping tactics employed by the assclowns. Wel, if the synner was to start ranting on chicks now, it'd be like the Energizer bunny. going on and on and on.... so, he'd rather let the synnoids use their creative imagination guide them through this. ;)

Rest assured, everything from good ol' eye candy girls to prostitutes to she-males were there in the streets in abundance!

So, to end it off, the synner realized two things on this latest edition of national hangover day.

One: He is not hung over this time around.

Two: Alcohol does not make people drunk. Their own freakin minds do it for them.

Rock on and ride safely.

Faith no more...

2006-12-28T02:44:00.000-08:00

Know what pisses the synner off?

a) Actually, nothin. the synner is way too cool for that.

Know what pisses Sandeep off?

a) -The fact that he keeps doing nice and thoughtful things for people he cares about, expecting them to return the favor sometime or the other, only to be constantly betrayed time and again.

-The fact that he keeps expecting for miracles to happen, when miracles and fairy godmothers and wizarding schools exist only in children's books, not in the real world.

Solution?

a) To quote the immortal eagles: "The big bad world doesn't owe you a thing, so get over it".

So there. Faith no more.

Oh, and that auto mail remainder feature for Orkut scraps pisses him off too, apparently.

p.s. My faithful synnoids need not worry. Just because Sandeep went through a major attitude change doesn't mean that the synner won't continue delivering his synnerisms on this blog. Rest assured, those will continue. Just that, Sandeep's life will be a bit jaded here on.

Rock on and ride safely.

Happy birthday synner..

2006-12-24T00:35:00.000-08:00

Howdy doo all....

Well well, what do we have here? could it be? no.. oh yes! it's birthday time for the synner! well, it was actually yesterday, but even the synner gotta say, anyone updatin their blogs ON their birthday has some serious lack of social skills... anyways, this one was the synner's first ever international birthday, with wishes pouring in from al over the world! well, 3 countries to be exact, but that's 2 more than my last 23 birthdays!

Anyhoo, Beck's lager for my drinking buddies, McDee's for non drinking ones.. sadly, the synner's permitted alcohol level was limited, due to promises made earlier.. :(
But, he will take a moment to explain the relationship between the synner and beer for my faithful synnoids, so that they can understand the synner-beer love story.

-The phrase, "love at first pint" was coined exclusively for the synner and beer.

-If the synner could change his name, he'd change it to "Budweiser" and call himself "Bud" for short.

-If the synner was to have a kid, he'd name him "Budweiser" too and call him "Bud Lite" for short.

-Actually, cross off points 2 and 3, as Budweiser is one of the crappiest beers the synner has ever tasted. Jus like them yanks. overhypin' everything. Trust me, if i see one more "waaazzup" ad by budweiser, i shalt breaketh the damn TV screen.

-When the synner says "i'm gonna grab some heiney", he means a can of Heineken. usually.

-Haagen lager from Kiwi land is the best beer the synner has ever tasted. period. highly recommended to all my synnoids.

-The only famous brands of beer that the synner is yet to taste are Nastro azurro and Corona.

-The best ads in the world are created for beer. Go to youtube and search for "beer bitch" to know why. the lazybutts can just click here:

To close things off, the synner took another one of those blogthing quizzes, about beer. and here are the results:

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Now, some fun facts about life in singy. The ye olde friend's circle has been pestering the synner to know more about it. so here goes:

-The smaller the motorcycle, the louder it is. Yep, the litre class machines have that growl-howl thing goin on, the 600's have an orgasmic scream, the 400's a shrill whistle, 250's n below have an " I'm an adolescent, i need to be heard" soundtrack, the off roaders, a roar... but the 100CC stepthru's. Yep, they are the masters of the sound game. Every other step thru here has a Rossi rep paintjob and straight flow exhaust, and trust me, when the throttle is opened, you can hear the damn thing from a high rise in Kuala Lampur...

-Almost all girls in the synner's hostel have a severe allergy to anything made of fabric. always runnin around in tank tops n skimpy shorts.. yet, when laundry day comes, they have the largest packets..! what gives?

-Speakin of girls, there are a few Indian girls that provide continuous entertainment to the synner. I mean, it's quite obvious that none of them have ever worn anything more fashionable than a salwar-kameez back home, yet put on seriously ill fitting outfits that show off their butt-ugly, er, butts to the unfortunate souls sitting in the cafeteria, jus to be "hip"! The queen amongst them is a 200 pound monstrosity from Tamil Nadu, (i guess) who wears a hideous, blue micro mini on all days of the week. Man, that one... that one is beyond words...

-There is a guy in the hostel that the synner is absolutely positively sure, has never EVER taken a bath! Every morning, he comes into the common bath, washes his hair, spends 20 mins applyin acne cream and all that crap, goes back to his room, and 5 mins later, is ready for class! He is also suspected to be (unofficially) the largest consumer of Deodorants in the country...

ok.. enough synnerisms for now.. will be back with more..

Merry christmas, happy new year....

Rock on, and ride safely.

A very special post.

2006-12-13T01:02:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in the title, this is indeed, a very special post for the Synner. Today marks the wedding day of my cousin and my childhood friend/nemesis, Seema. When we were only ye big, Seema and her family would come to visit only during vacations. Now, as 2 kids aged the same, we were naturally play buddies. And no 5 minutes went by without some serious fighting and hair pulling..! be it over toys or what TV show to watch, we couldn't even agree to disagree! But, all things said, at the end of the vacation, when it was time for them to go back, we were both 2 sad puppies.

Time went on.. Seema and her family came back and settled in my hometown. Now, the fights were still happenin, but they were fewer and far between. We gradually developed a genuine friendship. and then, a few months back, i moved for studies.

Now, it's her wedding day. Hard to believe that that spectacled, short haired girl who always claimed her glo friend was better than mine is becoming a bride. a wife. and soon, a mother. Here's to you, Seema. Have a rockin married life. Good to see that atleast one of us have grown up! Sad that i couldn't be there, but it's ok, as we'd probably end up fighting over ur choice of saree color! Jus kiddin! (maybe...)

**wipin my misty eyes**

ok, now for some fun.

The other day, the synner took on a questionnaire on Blogthings. It was about what sort of rocker you are. well, this is how i faired:

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self.
No doubt, you are all about making good music...
But what really gets you going is having an over the top show.
Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

The synner always knew that Glam was in his blood! wanna take the quiz urselves? Just follow the link.

until next time,

Rock on and ride safely.

The same old... Not.!

2006-12-09T02:17:00.000-08:00

Ola, all...
To quote one Alice f'n Cooper, welcome to my nightmare...

My faithful synnoids may remember the synner talkin 'bout his allergy. well, it happened again. this time, the synner found out the true cause. Not peanut butter(woo hoo! snickers, here i come!), but shrimp! that's right, SHRIMP! That little 3 inch piece of exoskeletal nightmare caused the synner a full night's worth of suffocation and scratched throat! anyways, here's a message from my diet to shrimp. adios amigo. nice meeting ya.

Anyways, the synner had an experience worth remembering all his life, this past week. My college had organized a film viewing for "Bram Stoker's Dracula". And guess who addressed the audience after the viewing? None other than its script writer and Hollywood biggie Jim Hart! At the risk of sounding cliched, the synner would say this: I have never met a more down to earth person in my entire life! It started when me and my friend walked into the class after lunch, and bumped into the man himself and he said "howdy", with a genuine smile. Mind you, this happened while all the pompous members of the Indian delegation of film makers were avoidin us students like plague! Hart, in spite of his substantial credentials, is still a fun lovin', big eatin' Texan (without the long drawl. I'm guessin he lost it in Hollywood) who has a passion for the horror genre since childhood. and this passion can be seen reflected in this amazing movie, which seems current, even after so many years.

Hart interacted with us students for about 20-25 minutes. During this time, he shared with us awesome incidents throughout writing of the script, the discussions, and the shooting of the film. The best part were the candid memories he had of moments with Francis Ford Coppola, the director, and various members of the cast. The moment of truth where they stumbled upon the idea of Dracula turning into a giant bat(not like the morph to regular bat that you see in most adaptations) was unreal. amazingly funny and insightful at the same time. It was indeed worth knowing how Hart vehemently stuck to the original work, and how startlingly different it was to the adaptations we see everywhere around us. Which, perhaps, is the reason why this movie stands out from the umpteen others made on Dracula before and after it.

Or perhaps, it could be because of the subtle romance between Dracula and Mina that Hart seamlessly blended into the story. The moment where Dracula painfully tells his hunters "look what your god has done to me" is surreal. It shows the pain of a man who lost the love of his life over defending his god. In the end, the movie makes us feel sorry for the Count and feel "meh" for Jonathan Harker, and that my friends, is incredible in my books.

The synner knows that this entry was not exactly the usual fare, what with Sandeep taking over the reigns for some time. Well, the synner can confirm that Sandeep has indeed left the building. However, he has one last parting word that he wishes to share with you all. It is about the most amazing part of this whole incident. It is that he was lucky enough to be blessed with the opportunity to ask 3 kick ass questions to Mr.Hart(Questions which he actually liked)! Choke on that!

I guess that would be enough for the day. A quick check on the world before i leave this joint. Hmmm... lemme see:

-Elton John is still gay as the day is long. check.
-The MV Augusta F4 is still gorgeous, and so is Eva Longoria(shut up powerslave!). check.
-Rap is still crap. check.

Ok, it seems like all's well with Planet earth. Well, as well as it can be.

Rock on and....

NEWS FLASH: We interrupt this program to let the viewers know a new development in the world of synns. The Synner just got confirmation from the discussion forum of his college that Mr.Tucker is happy with the progress of his research paper. Now, my faithful synnoids may remember the synner talking about blank page syndrome and how he couldn't write a damn thing in his research paper. Well, this just proves that slow or fast, prose by the synner still kicks ass!

**Now back to the scheduled program**

Thank you for that update, SNN(Synner News Network)....

Rock on and ride safely.

Award night, synner style...

2006-11-28T05:19:00.000-08:00

Howdy, ladies and germs??

So, what's new in this little round thing we call home? Wait, don't tell me.. Coz I have the power of the almighty Interweb with me! And with this very same power, I present thee:

Synner's First Annual "please sister, I'm married..! / hey good lookin, what's cookin...!" awards:

**Applause**

At number 5 , we have....

The sweet, charming Zoe McLellan, A.K.A, P.O. Jennifer Coates from J.A.G.

**Applause**

At number 4....

The delectable Ms. Kristen Kreuk, A.K.A, Lana Lang from Smallville, Who apparently has the super power of raising the temparature of the room she's in.!

**Applause**

Numero Tres is.....

The GoDaddy girl herself. Ms Candice Michelle. Ai Chihuahua...!

**Applause**

Just 1 more stop till our winner.. so, onto Numero dos...

Ms Maria Kanellis of WWE fame. Can some1 turn up the aircon please? Waddya mean it's already at the maximum??

ok, ok.. Back to business.. er, pleasure... er, both...

**Applause**

And..... The Number one spot goes to........
**insert dramatic pause here**

*Boo**

synner: "What in blue hell? What are YOU doing here??"

GB: "I have just been informed by a very reliable source that this blog is stocking weapons of mass destruction..."

**Boo**

synner: "u kiddin me..!"

HH: " ahem....."

**Applause**

synner: " Uncle hef..!"

GB: "well, there is my source..!"

HH: "No, you moron, i said weapons of mass ERECTION! not destruction..!"

GB: "oh, in that case.. well, i.. i guess i'd just....."

synner: "Get the hell outta my blog..!"

**Door Slamming**

synner: "..And stay out..!!!"

**Applause**

" Jeez! Folks, sorry for the interruption. Well, now that he's here, I humbly request uncle Hef to annouce the winner...."

HH: "It'd be my pleasure. Ok junior, here goes- ..and the winner is..."

Eva "she makes me cry for no reason" Longoria!!!!

**Applause**

**Applause**

HH: "so eva dear, what say you and I go for dinner?"

EL: "Sure thing, hef.."

synner: "uncle Hef, can i drive?"

HH: **tossing the limo key** "knock yourselves out"

synner: "so uncle Hef, how 'bout that lifetime subscription?"

HH: "Don't push it Junior.."

synner: "okie dokie..!"

-Fin-

ok, ok... fun time over.. all eyes back to me. Now that i got that out of the system(no pun intended), let's get back to business, shall we? The synner remembers that he had promised all his synnoids (nice term, eh?) a look into his other passion: motorcycling. Now, i don't wanna go into another 100 word rant over this one, so let's break it all into points:

*Synner is a born motorcycle fanatic.

*Synner loves sportbikes and getting his knee down on them.

*Synner would like one of these for his birthday:

no, not THAT... this:

Thank you very much.

Folks, the synner is suffering from a serious bout of the Blank page syndrome. He is supposed to start his research, but is in serious need of some creative flow. This whole piece of literature was a feeble attempt at getting those juices flowing(again, no pun intended. Jeez, synner, enough with the double ended jokes, ok?). Anyways, thank you folks for joining me on this amazing night. I thank you on my own behalf, as well as....

...hold on, we have another celebrity in the house! and what's more, he wants to deliver the final words on my behalf. so, here goes:

Thank you, everybody. Rock on and ride safely.

I ain't no one hit wonder...

2006-11-23T01:53:00.000-08:00

Well, here boys, girls and everything in between, is the follow up to my awesome debut last week! thank you, thank you... the bouquets are at display at the window and the brickbats locked down in the dungeon where nobody can see them. just kiddin! the synner appreciates each and every bit of feedback that he got. And as for those of you who didn't bother to check out this amazing piece of literature; be afraid, be very afraid... Christmas is coming and i know a place where they gift wrap rattlesnakes. muahahaha..!!

it's kind of hard to get out of the megalomaniac mode, you know? It's kinda addictive, if u know what i mean! (especially the talking in third person part). But ok, back to business.. I'm happy that most of the ye olde friend's circle liked this blog. And as for you, munti, you're a lonely little girl and nobody gives a damn about you.. :D Just kiddin again! well, my friend, i know exactly what you meant. But i want this blog to be sort of an alternate reality, where i can talk about a variety of stuff in a lighthearted way. no whining, no boring technical jargon, in short, nothing that will prompt you to click that little 'x' button on top at lightning speed. just, a bunch of stuff that can draw a chuckle or two out of you.

Hmmm, today the synner found out something about himself. that he's allergic to peanut butter(damn, here's that 3rd person voice again! stop, i command thee!). ok, i was having breakfast this morning. gobbled up a bowl of macaroni. No probs. then came 2 peanut butter sandwiches. ugh oh! in short, peanut butter + me = parched throat+ difficulty in breathing+ violent stomach pains+ throwing up three times! all in all, not a good morning. But still, collected myself together as i had a presentation to make in the class. reached 5 mins late, but seems like every other person including the lecturer was sloppier still.! thank god for the small favors:-) . well, no time to rehearse. Went in straight up and kicked some ass in true synner style. Now, the closest thing to a compliment that Mr.Tucker gives is a De Niro-ish sneer, and i saw it 3 times! booyah! mission accomplished! peanut butter be damned...

Now, i remember that i had ended the last entry with the promise of talkin 'bout motorcycling in the next post. But i guess it'l have to wait for another day, as 'm still recovering from the little misadventure.

so, until next time, rock on and ride safely.

hold the blog bus, coz here i come!

2006-11-19T03:48:00.000-08:00

Well, after months of reading through a gazillion of these blog thingies, (some real informative, some with serious whining(boo hoo, i hate the system.. here's a hint- why don't u DO something bout it, instead of typin away?), some nothing more than digital bedtime diaries(yeah, dear blog, today i met the most gorgeous guy/gal.... LOL!) ) , i finally decided to give this thing a shot... so, here goes nothing....

It's kinda amazing how technology has progressed, innit? i mean, here's my personal space on the interweb that i can use for whatever the hell i want! well, whatever that is not gonna bring the feds knockin on my doors..! ;)

Anyways, this blog would serve as an outpost for what i think of the stuff i care about, and, occasionally, the stuff that other ppl care about! Now, i DO have a social life, and other people(people i know) are gonna read this once in a while, so obviously, this thing can neither be a whine-o-rama, nor a bedtime diary. which is not to say that it won't include some whining or a few personal notes. confused? well, u should be, coz i am..! but lemme make one thing very clear: there ain't gonna be any politically correct statements here.

If you were patient enough to read till here, I'm pretty sure that most of you must be thinkin, well, here's another wise guy posting his wise ass comments on his freakin' blog. well mateys, you wont be far off with that assumption, i can tell ya that! but, if you spend another minute to know more about this wiseass, may be you could get a chuckle or two out of my posts. who knows!

so here's more about me: this entity known as first_synn in various corners of the interweb was born with the name sandeep in a little town called cochin in INDIA. 'm an aspiring 3D modeler and is currently doing higher studies in Singapore (will post some of my works here). After spendin much of my childhood being a rebel without a cause(and subsequently being frowned at), i finally discovered two things that finally let me be the non confirmist i was at heart, frowning be damned. And those two things were rock 'n roll and motorcycling. lemme get you upto speed on these.

Rock 'n roll first. It all started when i accidentally clicked on a file called bon jovi: runaway.mp3 on a friend's comp. oh man! was i hooked! i felt some sort of ecstasy when i heard the guitar solo in the middle. thus began my quest to know more about this particular form of music. this particular friend was very helpful, and he introduced me to glorious bands like the rolling stones, dire straits, led zep, aerosmith etc and even heavier stuff like black sabbath. of course, this only whetted my appetite, and i began to do some serious research on the various sub genres under rock n roll. i became obsessed with each and every rock/metal band that ever existed and listened to whatever music i could lay my hands on. out went the boyzone and spicegirls cassettes(i know, what was i THINKIN!) and in came aerosmith, bon jovi, guns 'n roses, and the rest of the party. The role that rock played in my life was phenomenal. Finally, here was a type of music that i could listen to, not coz it was the most popular on MTV, but it genuinely made me feel good. I don't know how, but listenin to eddie van halen or dimebag abbot grind the hell out of an electric guitar or axl rose or steven tyler screamin his balls out always calmed me down, no matter how pissed off i was. Over time, i will discuss some of my fav music here.

Now, i know that the current trend amongst youth is to pull down their lower garnments down to their butt crack (btw, who invented those godaweful things that are neither pants nor shorts? jeez!), put on some bling and walk around like you have rickets on both legs, all the while listenin to some "artist" who can't sing to save his goddamn life shoutin out a 1000 syllables/min, pretendin that you understand their "pain", while in truth you understand jack shit. well, all i gotta say 'bout that is, you cant' spell crap without rap. gimme my leather jacket n tight jeans any day!

Damn, this is taking a lot longer than i expected. I suppose 'm suffering from what is known as the blank page syndrome. Guess motorcycling will have to wait for another day. But trust me mateys, you haven't heard the last of me!

rock on and ride safely.